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Originally Posted by wolvocouple2 We have been chattin about going to a club to see wheather it is what we really want to venture into or just a fantacy that is best kept as that so if any one out there has some advice about clubs and how you think about them been used by first timers. We are worried about getting there and a cpl chatting us up an then making them feel like shit if we get cold feet it just seems unfair on the other cpl.
although we are a loving cpl we have our peoblems and i(female)am very wary as i feel that it may add to our problems and make it harder to climb out of our probs. |
Every couple you'll meet were firstimers and newbies one time, everyone of us had these fears. You have to be honest about yourselves and your fears with the other couples to make it fair for them. You may tell them you're not sure and need a slow approach, and even that you're not up to do something right now. We all like to discuss and set up our limits beforehand, and adjust our expectations with the third ones involved limits, and the limits may vary from couple to couple. Some seeks for intercourse, some doesn't, some may be up to do oral, some don't. Your limits falls into the known valid limits among swingers couples, so no one have to feel them "unfair".
Some couples may leave because they want for action now, but I think most couples will give you some of their time to talk with you about this issues and get to know each other. You may find out couples that are in the same stage and page than yourselves. For sure, all the couples will appreciate the honest approach.
Regarding your current problems, it isn't clear for me how related these are with this fantasy. I am sure all the couples here have their own problems and issues (we have owrs), but most of these aren't related with swinging, and swinging (taken as an activity done to enhance your marriage sexuality) reinforce the bounds and help address or overcome the other problems.
But if the problems have to do with this fantasy (for example, if some of you feels unable to please the other and then agree on this to "overcome" the problem), or if you're trying to do this as a way to solve other issues, then this would be a really bad idea.