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Originally Posted by wolvocouple2 thanks for all the great advice. we do talk quiet alot and are very open about what each other think they could or could not do or cope with the other doing, but the main question that we both have is how we will feel about each other after and if we will cope having to look at each other in a completely different way. as we have a young family it is very important we dont do something that will hurt it. a relative of ours has had 2 experiences and it has made their relationship spiral out and are on the verge of breaking up as it has caused so much bad feeling between them, they decided the way they wanted to go and chose to start with sharing with a single male while they totally enjoyed and loved the experience it has had a knock on effect and they are at each others throats all the time and it has been brought up in an arguement in a hurtful way. so as you can imagine it has made us rethink our own situation. |
The deciding factor on how it will affect you afterwards is what each of your personal reasons are for going into your first encounter. If each of you is looking at the encounter as a chance to have sex with someone other than your partner, then it could very well turn out badly. If, however, you are each looking at it as an opportunity for your partner to discover new pleasures, then you might be on the right track. I (Jaybee) have had swing adventures with several short term relationships. None of them lasted, however, the swinging was never the cause. The relationships were flawed from the start and doomed to fail. With She (who I hope to spend the rest of my life with) I brought up the subject before our first date. She let me know that she had often fantasized not only about swinging, but about being with another woman. Within 6 weeks of our first date, she had her first swinging and her first bisexual experience. Since then, we've had several other experiences and our love for each other keeps growing. We talk about our experiences, relive them, talk about things that could have been better, etc. There have been a few instances where she gave much more than she received and felt a bit short changed. But these things happen from time to time and the next time usually makes up for it.
Good luck with whatever your decision!