The Swingers Board - View Single Post - How do you deal with loss of excitement while playing?

ItTakes3 · 01-28-2006, 08:29 AM

Welcome to sexual maturity.

When I was a teen, even the most miniscule sexual thought brought on raging erections. As I got older, it usually took explicit visual stimuli to have the same effect.

Then I reached the point where the brain did much more to stimulate me than anything visual could do. After all, most sexual activity is mostly the same thing, so the new and interesting things had to occur in the mind. After a while, body parts started to look pretty much the same, except for size.

As time went on, my sexual interest became charged in two ways. The first was with my wife. She knows exactly which buttons to push and can get me fired up in mere seconds! Sex with her is fantastic. The other way is the "forbidden fruit" turn-on...thinking about sex with a woman who is not your wife. That works for a few times and then it too becomes old hat. Just getting off in another woman becomes no big deal.

We have now reached the point where we selectively push each other's buttons. I now get my strongest erections in a threesome situation watching her with another man...and she gets her kicks putting on a show for me.

We also enjoy seduction. Whether it's a man or a woman, we love to talk about "what if's". If we find a person that one or both of us find interesting, or thoughts of sex with them stimulating, we plan on how we are going to get them into a bed. Sometimes it happens; sometimes it doesn't and sometimes we lose interest. Oftentimes the mechanics and mental stimulation of the seduction are more of a turn-on than the actual time in bed.

To get to the point...just swapping because we can, doesn't get me very excited and keeping an erection can be a problem. If I haven't been mentally teased and conditioned, I might as well masturbate. It takes quality rather than quantity for both my wife and I. I don't mean we need beautiful people, or perfect physical specimans. Actually it's more often the opposite.

As I said earlier, the brain becomes the primary sex organ and we seek others with a similar opinion. A pair of silicone D's on a hard body do nothing for me if they are attached to a boring, egotistical airhead. A body that has borne babies, gotten stretched and has begun to sag, excites the heck out of me if I like the person inside.

To sum it up, sometime swapping works, sometimes not. It depends on the people.

01-28-2006, 08:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
ItTakes3 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 124 Location: NTex	Re: How do you deal with loss of excitement while playing? Welcome to sexual maturity. When I was a teen, even the most miniscule sexual thought brought on raging erections. As I got older, it usually took explicit visual stimuli to have the same effect. Then I reached the point where the brain did much more to stimulate me than anything visual could do. After all, most sexual activity is mostly the same thing, so the new and interesting things had to occur in the mind. After a while, body parts started to look pretty much the same, except for size. As time went on, my sexual interest became charged in two ways. The first was with my wife. She knows exactly which buttons to push and can get me fired up in mere seconds! Sex with her is fantastic. The other way is the "forbidden fruit" turn-on...thinking about sex with a woman who is not your wife. That works for a few times and then it too becomes old hat. Just getting off in another woman becomes no big deal. We have now reached the point where we selectively push each other's buttons. I now get my strongest erections in a threesome situation watching her with another man...and she gets her kicks putting on a show for me. We also enjoy seduction. Whether it's a man or a woman, we love to talk about "what if's". If we find a person that one or both of us find interesting, or thoughts of sex with them stimulating, we plan on how we are going to get them into a bed. Sometimes it happens; sometimes it doesn't and sometimes we lose interest. Oftentimes the mechanics and mental stimulation of the seduction are more of a turn-on than the actual time in bed. To get to the point...just swapping because we can, doesn't get me very excited and keeping an erection can be a problem. If I haven't been mentally teased and conditioned, I might as well masturbate. It takes quality rather than quantity for both my wife and I. I don't mean we need beautiful people, or perfect physical specimans. Actually it's more often the opposite. As I said earlier, the brain becomes the primary sex organ and we seek others with a similar opinion. A pair of silicone D's on a hard body do nothing for me if they are attached to a boring, egotistical airhead. A body that has borne babies, gotten stretched and has begun to sag, excites the heck out of me if I like the person inside. To sum it up, sometime swapping works, sometimes not. It depends on the people.