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Originally Posted by JnCC It's pointless to try and filter our own values through somebody else's life experience. Every time I see somebody offering a critical perspective on this subject, I wonder how this would be playing out if Mr. "I'm no cheater!" had married Mr. "Well, I AM a cheater's" wife, and vice-versa. Would they still be so sanctimonious about cheating?
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Some people are fortunate to marry a spouse whose sexual needs and values are identical to their own. A few are able to bring those needs into alignment. The rest do the best they can to keep their families whole, while getting their own physical or emotional needs met. I'm reminded of a guy who's wearing a colostomy bag...it ain't pretty, but it's what he needs to get through the day. The last thing he needs is me or anybody else telling him how repulsive he is. |
I happen to believe that there are more people married than should be. Being single is not a tragedy. I don't know what the legal definition of it is, but the kind of dysynchronous sexual relationship you refer to is what I woud call an "irreconcilable difference". If they still choose to remain married, even though their sex life is dead and buried, the fact still remains that there IS NO EXCUSE FOR DISHONESTY. There are always other, more honest, options. Even if they're not the easiest ones to take. Marriage is supposed to be an equal relationship, where both people give and get equal respect and treatment. If you liken it to a company owned by two people, stepping out on your spouse without telling her because she "just wouldn't understand" or becacuse you "don't want to hurt her feelings", is a bit like selling your partner's stock in the company from under her nose...for her own good. Except she's not seeing a thin dime of the profit.
Comparing an affair to a colostomy bag is probably a pretty close match. You can hide it under your everyday clothes, but it's still full of shit.
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Originally Posted by JnCC It's like listening to guys who have never been in combat talk about what they would do if somebody were shooting at them. It's all piss-and-wind, not worth listening to. They're writing a story of their lives in which they are the "The Hero," and anybody who doesn't subscribe to their code-of-conduct is somehow a "child of some lesser God."
Well, I don't buy it. |
I'm quite sure you can't say you know everything about everyone. Are you certain that they don't know what they're talking about??