 Re: married going alone
It's pointless to try and filter our own values through somebody else's life experience. Every time I see somebody offering a critical perspective on this subject, I wonder how this would be playing out if Mr. "I'm no cheater!" had married Mr. "Well, I AM a cheater's" wife, and vice-versa. Would they still be so sanctimonious about cheating?
It's like listening to guys who have never been in combat talk about what they would do if somebody were shooting at them. It's all piss-and-wind, not worth listening to. They're writing a story of their lives in which they are the "The Hero," and anybody who doesn't subscribe to their code-of-conduct is somehow a "child of some lesser God."
Well, I don't buy it.
Some people are fortunate to marry a spouse whose sexual needs and values are identical to their own. A few are able to bring those needs into alignment. The rest do the best they can to keep their families whole, while getting their own physical or emotional needs met. I'm reminded of a guy who's wearing a colostomy bag...it ain't pretty, but it's what he needs to get through the day. The last thing he needs is me or anybody else telling him how repulsive he is.
As for whether or not you've "joined the lifestyle," or joined "cheaters of America," that's easy. Go to the guys website, click on one of the lifestyle clubs who advertise there, and tell them that you're married, planning a visit to Las Vegas, and would like to visit their club without your wife present. It doesn't matter what he says...if they take your money (and I've never known a club that wouldn't) you're "joining the lifestyle." |