After reading your posts and the replies it has hit me as kinda strange that no one has asked these questions.
1. Could it be your not reaching O because your trying to hard and not relaxing???
2. Your man could be worried that by swinging you might find someone who can do all those things he feels he is unable to do?? (thus maybe losing you??)
3. Are you wanting to swing because your not happy in your sexual relationship??
If you answer yes to any of the above, I'd advice you to step back from the swinging idea and concetrate on your relationship.
You may find out it improves vastly once he no longer feels any pressure.
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Always try things three times:
1st time to try it out. 2nd time to see if it's better. 3rd time just to recap 1st and 2nd.
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