[mystic]

Originally Posted by JnCC

That was my point...you're always "thinking" about doing something. STOP FUCKING THINKING!!! Either DO something, or move on to the next broken dream.

Ouch. Look, I cannot stop thinking. Yes, I can direct the thinking elsewhere (at least try to), but I cannot stop thinking at all. It's an ongoing process that goes on inside my head. It has it's gifts in that when I'm actually working on something, I do a great job at it because I'm several steps ahead of myself and really thinking deep about the problem. It's what allows me to do the few good things I've already done in my life and keep at it. This is how my brain is wired. It's different from you.

That said, I know you're right and I know what you're saying. I often get into mental blocks of uncertainty and if I can't decide right away, I often say "no". It's something I'm trying to work on so I that I say "yes" in awhile.

Originally Posted by JnCC

Now that's an example of actually doing something.

You DO plan to keep the appointment, don't you?

Yes. I made a decision. When I actually decide to do something, I'll do it.

Originally Posted by JnCC

Don't be so sure about that. What I do know is that while exercise and SSRI's can be of benefit in treating depression, you'll also need to spend some time with a therapist who has training in that specific area as well.

I'll ask them to recommend me someone that specifically knows how to deal with these issues then. Thanks. My biggest fear is the wasting time and money and figuring out he/she was a goof ball who didn't know anything. Yes, maybe it was my fault for picking the bad psychologist the last time, but from the 10 or 12 I called in the yellow pages, 3 got back to me, and of those 3, only 1 of them got back to me the same day (the rest of them took an entire week, and by then, I had scheduled an appointment). I got the impression that they were busy, booked or didn't care.

Originally Posted by JnCC

You sound like a guy who reads a lot.

Yep.

Originally Posted by JnCC

Here's a book for ya - "Undoing Depression" by Richard O'Connor, Ph.D. You can purchase it at Barnes & Noble, or you can take it back to a chair and read it for free. Either way, it, along with the 3 things previously mentioned (exercise, SSRI's, and therapy) can probably help you.

Well I got the exercise and healthy eating down. I'm down to 191 pounds when I used to weigh around 215-216 pounds a few months ago.

Originally Posted by JnCC

But if you don't do something, nobody in here, not all the King's horses nor all the King's men, can help you. Frankly, I don't know why they'd want to.

I know. But you do make it sound that I haven't done anything. I compare my life now to 6 months ago and it's a lot different. Sure, the social stuff hasn't worked itself out a whole lot, but I got a lot of other things handled.

I treat myself a lot more and never used to. Like I try new restaurants (like thai or indian food) or buy myself things (clothes, books, whatever). I tried out lube and a sex toy for the first time (I actually really liked the sex store. I was like a boy just so curious at everything since I never been to one before but always wanted to. It took some courage though to work myself up to doing it without feeling bad about it). I'm much more independant. My apartment looks nice and is actually filled with things you'd see in a normal apartment (it used to be practically empty, with no kitchen table, coffee table, television and all kinds of other little things). I go out to see a movie every now and then instead of staying at home. And I go to the mall every now and then just to get out. And I started to try out wines and things because I never used to drink (although a liked a few, I still don't drink a lot - but at least I tried several anyway). I also took a trip to vegas during the holidays for 4 days to see penn & teller, david copperfield and to play poker. It was the second time I ever been on a flight and did it all by myself. It's not much to you, but that's a big improvement for me. A lot of that stuff was never important to me. I mean, I never experienced any of that before.

And believe it or not, but I do run a corporation. That takes a lot of time and energy to make sure it continues to run right and we have a new product that needs to be launched in March while trying get our marketing going. I'm taking off from work because I don't want it to be an excuse why I don't get anything else handled. Because at the end of the day, the company doesn't matter that much to me. Sure, it's nice, but I'd take social skills, a sense of humour and time with friends and women over it anyday. So my life comes first. And people are there to run things while I'm gone anyway.

Thanks for responses.