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Originally Posted by mystic Okay, here's the thing. When a high status guy says a woman is beautiful, it doesn't matter what you said because your a high status guy. But when a low status, low confidence guy says it, guess what? You get thrown out pretty fast. You get pegged as the other 700 lovable losers that had approached her in her entire life. Honestly, I get the impression women don't really give a shit who I am until I demonstrate some kind of value to them. Sure they are nice about it (well most of them anyway), but the semantics are what they are. |
Did you forget to preen your feathers?
You are trying to intellectualize an instinct, and that doesn't work well. Going after a woman with a plan on how to 'show your value' is just asking to fail. Way back when, I would say, though it pains me, that I was like you to an extent. I was younger, but I didn't really 'get' it until I was about 21. I had dated and I had some girlfriends but it was all unsatisfactory.
Then at 21 or so I got it and its simple. What ever you do, do NOT try to impress women, do not try to show them 'value', do not try to prove to them why you are worthy of their time. Doing so will make you seem LESS desireable, they will see a guy who is trying so hard to 'get them' and a little thing ticks in their subconcious which says 'This guy really wants you, lets see if you can do better!' and there will be no attraction to you.
Instead come from the possition that they have to show that they are worthy of YOUR time. Think 'asshole', you won't be one, but its a way to bring you down from the level of fawning you have placed yourself at. Don't always pay attention to them, make them think you could take or leave them, make THEM insecure in if you really want them. The same subconcious which told the nice guy to take a hike is now saying 'I'm good enough for this guy!' and now you have that attraction factor.
What this comes off as is self confidence. Few women want a weak man, and believe me you don't want those women, her biology is looking for strength and someone 'worthy' of baring her young. Even if they are just looking for a fun night, sexual attraction is hardcoded in our genes.
Now whats funny with this is a lot of women will deny what I'm saying. This came up in a group once (non swingers) and one woman told me I was wrong, and then later 1-1 told me I was right but she didn't want to give the other young men there (we were all in our early 20's) the wrong idea about women. I’ve had a lot of women agree with this but only 1-1.
I went from 1 night stands and unsatisfactory relationships to dating 3 women at once, one of whom I married and we have been together for 15 years and I can't see it ever ending of our own accord.
Trust me, its simple, let them show YOU why they are worthy of you, not the other way around. I would also recomend working out, it not only gives you some muscle which will give you that self confidence you lack, but it also pumps up the hormones which help there as well. Women are far more forgiving on looks then men are, (how many ugly girls are with great looking guys? Now how many great looking girls are with ugly guys?) but it will help YOUR thought process, even if its not important to her.