What's wrong with saying, "Those are nice shoes"?
I love shoes and the women I know spend considerable time picking them out. I'd think they'd love the complement on their good taste.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? Lots of people do. They can probably assist you in the self-improvment journey you've already started. I'm not real big on pharmacological solutions, but taking one of the SSRI class of drugs for a while might help you overcome some of your fears. Once you gain confidence you probably won't need them and your therapist can wean you off of them.
Just a thought and I wish you the best.
-B