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Originally Posted by Nervous1023 Wow, I'm so glad I asked. I was alittle upset when hubby asked. But since he did I've been looking at sites to see what he "saw". And yes some of it turns me on. But I didn't want to give him an answer right or wrong without getting some answers. HUGH wieght lifted, becuase I know I can fulfill a fantasy and not cross a personal line.  |
One thing I have noticed for us is that the different websites and stories can scare the hell out of us being brand new. There is a couple who attend both clubs we are deciding to attend and they write an amazing blog of the activities and experiences they are having in the lifestyle. After reading it and also looking at some other website put up by couples in the lifestyle I was terrified as well as turned on. I love that they are so free and open, but I know I am nowhere ready for the experiences they are having......at least not yet.....and perhaps not ever. It almost made me decide that swinging was not something I am comfortable with doing. But then I realized that this is only one small segment of the swinging population and of course they are going to be more out there since it seems that exhibitionism is part of the turn on for THEM.....it doesn't mean that we or other couples need to feel the same way to have fun.
I guess what I am saying is what everyone else has said.....This is what each couple decides it is....There shouldn't be peer pressure, or even the lifestyle accepted norms to find and try to fit into.
We have decided that our very first and only rule at this point is that we are going to an on premise club and we are only going to socialize, flirt, and try to get to know some of the people there. Even if we are approached, or one of us wishes that we could partake, we will give ourselves the time to put some space and distance between the event to talk things through and make sure this is what we both want and are comfortable doing. If we are comfortable then we can attend the next months event and discuss what we are comfortable with doing or not doing at that event.
The best advice I have gotten from this forum is that experiences should happen at the slowest partners pace.
Mrs. Me