pacpl4funn, it sounds like your guy puts more priority over his kinky desires than he does over you and he needs a reality-slap in the face to snap out of it. It also sounds like you have, justifiably so, lost a lot of respect for him. IMHO the only way you two get things back to where they should be is he stops all this crap, including the wishful emails, completely and immediately and starts focusing on you instead. He *might* need some counseling as well, as he's sounding like he's a bit out-of-control with his sexual desires. I'd also continue to monitor what he's doing. I know sneakiness and distrust isn't the way of a healthy marriage, but you've got reason to doubt and he needs to prove his trustfulness to you again. And you need to know whether he's actually stopping it or not because if he's not then the situation will only get worse and more difficult to repair. I always have huge doubts people like this can ever come back to reality, but I hope that things do work out for you. I think it's great you've taken charge of what you want to do, stick with that!
