The Swingers Board - View Single Post - I tried- I tried- I can't do this anymore

pacpl4funn · 01-06-2006, 01:40 PM

intuition897---- Did it look like his heart skipped a beat when you confronted him about it? Nostrils flared a bit, pupils dilated?

OMG ! He was so scared, he had that "oh shit, I'm dead" look And while I was ranting, my heart was literly pounding so hard I could hear it. I don't think in the 4 years we've been together that he has ever seen me so angry, hurt, shaken, etc. all at the same time, I was absolutly wigged out from head to toe!

He was panicking because I told him I msged that woman he was chatting to. And I did ! I never say I'm going to do something without doing it. Of course she was all dumb and stupid about it. But I am no fool.

And your right, the health of our relationship has been on me from the start of swinging, of course he'd say and do things that made it appear he too was looking out for us, but it was really him he was looking out for. He always has to have that control over everything while making it look like I have the final say.

Everything has always been about what he wants, needs, desires, and I was so stupid and inlove with him that I wanted anything and would do anything that made him happy.

The upcoming holidays we're so busy and so overwhelming and we're expecting our first grandchild in the next few weeks, all I wanted was some time away from this, I spent 3 weeks kniting! Finding someone to play with was the last thing on my mind !

But him! Nooooo, that's all he can think of. I told him I wanted time away, and he still had to push. well now I've pushed back. It may have taken me 3 years to do this, but I'm glad I did. I'm done giving in and getting less and less as time goes on.

His fascination with swinging needs to stop, or as I told him, "If you don't care about us, If you need it that bad? Then go get it without me!" Of course he says he doesn't want this without me.

And right now, there is no room in my life for swinging, even if it was something I truly wanted. Granted I had some fun, not as much if I really wanted this, but I guess that's to be expected when your really doing this for someone else..... And should the day come that I do want it, it will be because I want it, and NOT to make him happy. And if never enters our life again, I know he will be sad, but it's not going to hurt me any. But if he can't deal with never having swinging again, then he needs to move on and find someone else.

I wish he would read the posts here, he might actually learn something, but instead he thinks this site is a joke and that no one knows what they are talking about.

In closing,
Thanks to everyone for all your support.

01-06-2006, 01:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
pacpl4funn Active Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 29 Location: PA	Re: I tried- I tried- I can't do this anymore intuition897---- Did it look like his heart skipped a beat when you confronted him about it? Nostrils flared a bit, pupils dilated? OMG ! He was so scared, he had that "oh shit, I'm dead" look And while I was ranting, my heart was literly pounding so hard I could hear it. I don't think in the 4 years we've been together that he has ever seen me so angry, hurt, shaken, etc. all at the same time, I was absolutly wigged out from head to toe! He was panicking because I told him I msged that woman he was chatting to. And I did ! I never say I'm going to do something without doing it. Of course she was all dumb and stupid about it. But I am no fool. And your right, the health of our relationship has been on me from the start of swinging, of course he'd say and do things that made it appear he too was looking out for us, but it was really him he was looking out for. He always has to have that control over everything while making it look like I have the final say. Everything has always been about what he wants, needs, desires, and I was so stupid and inlove with him that I wanted anything and would do anything that made him happy. The upcoming holidays we're so busy and so overwhelming and we're expecting our first grandchild in the next few weeks, all I wanted was some time away from this, I spent 3 weeks kniting! Finding someone to play with was the last thing on my mind ! But him! Nooooo, that's all he can think of. I told him I wanted time away, and he still had to push. well now I've pushed back. It may have taken me 3 years to do this, but I'm glad I did. I'm done giving in and getting less and less as time goes on. His fascination with swinging needs to stop, or as I told him, "If you don't care about us, If you need it that bad? Then go get it without me!" Of course he says he doesn't want this without me. And right now, there is no room in my life for swinging, even if it was something I truly wanted. Granted I had some fun, not as much if I really wanted this, but I guess that's to be expected when your really doing this for someone else..... And should the day come that I do want it, it will be because I want it, and NOT to make him happy. And if never enters our life again, I know he will be sad, but it's not going to hurt me any. But if he can't deal with never having swinging again, then he needs to move on and find someone else. I wish he would read the posts here, he might actually learn something, but instead he thinks this site is a joke and that no one knows what they are talking about. In closing, Thanks to everyone for all your support.