This all goes back to a basic guiding principle of mine: the rules in swinging are exactly the same as the basic rules of dating. It's just a mistake to think that somehow swinging changes the fundamental rules for how people hook up with each other. The dating rule that's relevant here is that some people are just flat-out not interested in having sex with overweight people. Making those people into swingers doesn't somehow magically make them interested in having sex with people that they don't consider sexually attractive.
When I was single I wouldn't have been interested in sex with a girl that was really overweight so I don't see how that's any different in swinging. My wife feels the same way. Body fat doesn't have any bearing on what I think of a person as a friend. My best friend in the world is a 3D animator that spends all day in front of a computer and he's enormously fat. I mean seriously huge, we worry about his health. I love him and I love being around him, I'm just not interested in fucking him.
I'll probably get flamed for saying this out loud, but I personally think that the "shallow" label is something that fat people use to deflect blame. If I'm not attracted to a fat girl, it's not because she's fat, it's because I'm shallow. "Shallow" is a term that is used by fat people to classify the world into two categories: people that will give them a chance and people that will not give them a chance. Ironically, it's a very shallow and self-serving classification system.
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