The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Sex without a connection- a learning experience

NandTfromCA · 01-03-2006, 07:35 PM

To keep a long story short, we were at a New Years dance and all keyed up after dancing and flirting all evening. There was moderate attraction with 2 other couples that seemed nice enough but we certainly hardly knew them. We thought, “what the heck, let’s start the year with a bang”, and decided to jump in the sack with them.

It was just empty fucking (which sounded good in theory but was really not very satisfying). There was some attraction but not that real heat you get with someone that you connect with. There was also some internal irritation because one of the men was not overly respectful. I say internal because there was no awkwardness in the moment just a mental note of “did you really need to say that, in that way, dude”. He wasn’t rude but just didn’t go out of his way to make everyone feel comfortable. Maybe it’s just me but I think a situation where people are naked and hands are everywhere, calls for a little extra sensitivity to others.

Anyhow, it was by no means a terrible experience. We all got to play a little and have an orgasm or two, or three…. It was just a learning experience.

So, we now have rule #3- Just because we horny, and a relatively attractive couple is ready to go, doesn’t mean we are going to play with them. There has to be some sort of mental connection. (for rules #1, #2 see Is it normal for things to go so well with so few rules?)

Although some might say “duh, what’d you expect” it could be something to think about for the newer folks (like we are veterans at about 4 weeks into this journey, lol).

T (XY)

01-03-2006, 07:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
NandTfromCA You get what you give Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 373 Location: Northern California Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:NandTfromCA	Sex without a connection- a learning experience To keep a long story short, we were at a New Years dance and all keyed up after dancing and flirting all evening. There was moderate attraction with 2 other couples that seemed nice enough but we certainly hardly knew them. We thought, “what the heck, let’s start the year with a bang”, and decided to jump in the sack with them. It was just empty fucking (which sounded good in theory but was really not very satisfying). There was some attraction but not that real heat you get with someone that you connect with. There was also some internal irritation because one of the men was not overly respectful. I say internal because there was no awkwardness in the moment just a mental note of “did you really need to say that, in that way, dude”. He wasn’t rude but just didn’t go out of his way to make everyone feel comfortable. Maybe it’s just me but I think a situation where people are naked and hands are everywhere, calls for a little extra sensitivity to others. Anyhow, it was by no means a terrible experience. We all got to play a little and have an orgasm or two, or three…. It was just a learning experience. So, we now have rule #3- Just because we horny, and a relatively attractive couple is ready to go, doesn’t mean we are going to play with them. There has to be some sort of mental connection. (for rules #1, #2 see Is it normal for things to go so well with so few rules?) Although some might say “duh, what’d you expect” it could be something to think about for the newer folks (like we are veterans at about 4 weeks into this journey, lol). T (XY)