Imsnowman,
"It really bothers me when people put HWP in their profiles, as to me it shows they are shallow."
When I made this statement I should have used the word "seems" as opposed to "shows". My apoligies for that one.
Speaking only for myself here, I did express myself based on my own experiences over the last year. We meet the majority of lifestyle memebers through pay sites. Through them we meet others in their circle of friends in addition to those we have met through clubs and private parties.
Before I go into further detail, exactly what is the definitiion of HWP? Whose guidlines do we follow? That which is put out by the AMA, (which changes constantly) or one in which the person who seeks HWP? Does the terminolgy mean HWP in such as the seeking party has? That is what is so confusing to me. HWP varies by the individual and I will use myself as an example.
I am 5'5" tall and if I weigh anything under 135 pounds I look like I should be given last rights. A good healthy weight for me is a minimum of 150 pounds. By AMA standards I am not HWP. I am over weight. The way my body is designed is that I have exceptionally long legs and very little waist. So in order to have the appearance of a healthy curvy body I need the additional weight. Now I am not going to tell my weight on here (cause girls just don't do that thing
) , but most people nearly faint to find out that I am over 125-130 pounds.
Now the sites that we belong to have as part of their profile a weight and height range. I am always honest about it but dependent upon how one views HWP, I would be considered obese by those who have evenly distributed body parts and probably weigh in the AMA range and look damn good and would look over weight if they carried the same that I do.
As for the shallowness, I considered even my own self shallow for not recognizing that you can be 20 something and have a much healthier outlook on life than quite a few of the 40+ age group that I know and have met in both non and non swing environments. My opinion was that if you didn't have the age you didn't have the life experience needed to connect with me on an intellectual level. Over the last few months, I have learned how wrong I was through some very special people. Therefore, I no longer have the discrimination that I harbored in my own mind about the younger generations.
Shallowness is also subjective. In my thinking if you cannot be open to viewing people as a whole, you are shallow. Right or wrong, that is just how I view it. I am certainly not out to change anyone else's perceptions, their deal is just that, as mine is mine. I am just sharing some important lessons that I have learned.
For us it is not just all about sex and we realize that there are some in which that is thier primary focus. That's cool, I say go for it and have a good time, you just aren't the kind of people that we would be inclined to be intimate with. We happen to prefer to connect with others in more ways than physically when it comes to swinging, not really any different than what we enjoy about our non-swinging friends, minus the sex.
Lori