[JnCC]

Originally Posted by sc8868

As a single male, the first question from others, especially from lifestyle community, is often associated with “Why he is still single?”.

Well, you won't hear it from me. I'm single, and I've never been happier in my fucking life. I may ask "why is (a single person) 'looking for somebody to swing with" or "why do some people put up with the shit they do, just to say they 'stayed married' for 'X' years," but I rarely make assessments about a persons character based on whether they're married or not.

I like to be in a good relationship with someone has the same open mind and share the life together. But, in today’s society, openly to seeking a lifetime partner outside the lifestyle community is nearly impossible.

A good relationship will open a person's mind. That's why mild-mannered librarians can become balls-out swingers in the first place...they have the security of a relationship to go back to at the end of the night. It's also why it makes a lot more sense to find a woman you can have a relationship with, and bring her into swinging, than to find one who swings, and try to bring her into the real world of relationships.

As I view the lifestyle is no difference than someone who likes particular sports and incorporates their daily life around it. But unfortunately, you will be very hard to convince others that way.

I think it's much more than that. I believe that for many people, "the lifestyle" defines a system of values and a pattern of behaviors that is as unique as one's identification as "heterosexual" or "homosexual." For them it's not a "choice," it's what they are.

I had been in a relationship for several years and had great times with a very respectful lady. The lifestyle was the major problem as we continued share our thoughts. Even, I could convince her, there would still be the concerning from her friends and family. That is why I concluded it will be a bad idea to develop any relationship before you know if other has alike open mind.

Maybe I'm missing something here, but how are you going from "Hello" to "relationship" with these women without knowing whether or not they "have an open mind?"