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Originally Posted by mrapplication Good explain Roni and I will read all of your comments to my wife tonight if the time is right. These mixed messages confuse the hell out of me. I never have approached her about her comment, because I know she will say I was only kidding. I know that nobody else knows what she is really thinking, but isn't this the first sign she is pondering it in her head? Reason being, I assume the first sign would be hints like this to see what my reaction would be.
Do I dare talk about her comment or continue being quite letting her to open up on her terms? I am wondering when do I start opening communcation about this. |
I wouldn't confront her about the comment, but instead think of how you could've reacted differently to it to make her realize right away that you were not threatened by it and actually found it hot. If you encourage her when she makes that type of comment she will start to see that it is okay for her to have the feelings she is feeling, and that you are okay with it. It won't happen right away. I totally understand her saying she was just joking. Until she sees that it is really okay, there will be a part of her that is convinced that she is really just joking because she "should" be joking. And be patient. There are still some barriers that I have and I know my husband is still gradually trying to wear away. I've often wondered why he turns some totally non-sexual situation or conversation into something sexual, but now as I try to answer your question I understand. (I love it when that happens.) He knows that if he brings up a certain situation enough times, eventually I will become more comfortable with it - and he has proven it time and time again over the past few years. In the beginning we used to role play, but the characters were always strangers. He then slowly started introducing scenarios involving me and one of his friends. At first I was very uncomfortable with that. However every time he mentioned it I became a little more comfortable - to the point where I would then bring it up. So I think you should encourage the conversation, and try to keep it going when it happens. - Roni