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Originally Posted by sc8868 Being a middle age single male, what are thing and "unwritten rules" that I need to be aware of? What kind of situation or "invitation" to look for? |
Welcome to the board. As you may have noticed, there are 18 pages and around 2,000 responses devoted solely to singles in the lifestyle. About a third of those deal specifically with the subject you've raised, I.E., how does a single male fit into all this? If you'll take just a few minutes to look up what's already been written on the subject, I'm sure you'll find that your questions have been answered many times over.
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What kind of situation or "invitation" to look for? As a first time, should I be more just "waiting" or "active"?
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If I had to sum it up in just one sentence, I'd say that your demeanor should be much the same as that of a homeless person. That is, you want to make your presence known without being intrusive, and you want to seem eager without appearing desperate. As has been pointed out many times before, you bring essentially nothing to what is otherwise a highly sexually charged enviornment. Smile when smiled at and speak when spoken to, but otherwise, sit down, shut up, and try not to make a pest of yourself. If you're looking for a way to help pass the time, you can start by asking yourself why they're all there
with somebody, and you're
not. It's a fair question, and one they'll no doubt be asking themselves of
you. Things NOT to do... DON'T do what we saw some asshole do at a club a few weeks ago...that is, go into a room that has been set aside for exhibitionists, go up to the bed where a couple is engaged in intercourse, and start jacking off over the womans face. And if they move to another part of the bed in an obvious attempt to get away from you, do
NOT move to the other side of the bed and reposition yourself over her face again. If they want you to join, they'll ask you. Otherwise, keep your distance, don't rattle closed doors, and
DON'T assume that a woman caught up in the "throes of passion" doesn't care
who's entering her.
As a general rule, do
NOT expose your penis unless someone specifically directs you to, and
DON'T touch it unless someone else touches it first. Nothing is a bigger turn-off or shows less class than a guy who strolls around a swing club strokin' his dick. If you're nearing the end of the evening and haven't been specifically asked to join somebody,
DON'T assume that a last-ditch move like whipping out your pud and giving it the old "stretcheroo" is suddenly going to make them change their mind about you. Save it for the queers in the parking lot...
Lastly, do
NOT assume that just because a club allows single males, it means that most of the couples are glad you're there.
Your attendance is permitted because you're bringing serious CA$H into the club, not because, as some would lead you to believe, "many couples are looking for single males." In fact, if the matter were ever put to a vote, probably 95% of them (who generally have little say in the matter) would be quite happy if single males weren't allowed into the club at ALL. The other 5% are looking for very select, "stud muffin" types. If you still think you'll be comfortable in an enviornment that's largely, but quietly, hostile to single males, or that you truly have something to offer the other 5%, go, and give it your best shot.
If you don't...it's going to be a long and dissapointing night.