Re: Is a vibrator/didlo appropriate? Definitely depends on the couple. I might mention it in a playful way and see how they respond. But, if you aren;t going to enjoy yourself because they are uncomfortable with your toys, don't play with them...
Mr Fantasy Partner is right - you need to do what you enjoy and hold out for playmates who are compatible with that.
Spoomonkey
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"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis
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