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Have you ever considered that your BF is crazy about you and this situation you are in has him blinded to the fact that you want the roomate for more than just the occassional 3-way? He might very well be really shocked to learn that you want the other guy.
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That sounds about right to me, actually.
I've been trying to get my head screwed on tighter about the whole situation. I've stopped obsessing over it so much. We have not had a threesome in a long time, but it seems like my boyfriend is playing with me. It seems rather unfair.
Here is the thing, often times when we are having sex he will talk about having a threesome. Primarily what he talks about is HE and his friend having sex, and he seems to get so turned on by it. Practically the WHOLE time we are having sex he will talk about it, describe exactly what he wants to do with his friend, and say we will have the threesome the next night. So in turn *I* get all worked up about the idea, and the next night comes and I am all excited and ready but my boyfriend says nothing about it. So, somewhat hesitantly I bring it up...and my boyfriend gets mad at me! He says we're having fun just the two of us, why do I have to ruin it? Then he turns on me and asks why I keep expecting a MFM when I won't bring any girls to bed with us. Well maybe because HE keeps talking about it!
So it is obvious that he wants to have a one-on-one encounter with his friend. But I think when it comes to the reality of it he is likely too afraid to attempt it because he does not know how his friend will react. While I would like to have a threesome again I am at the point where I can take it or leave it. But when my boyfriend goes on about it, promises "we will have one tomorrow" and then gets mad at me the next day when I bring it up...it's getting really old.