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Originally Posted by dallmax1 "...I say that because in your posts I get a sense of I want this for me, how do I get her to "agree. It may not be the case, but that is how I perceive it."
Wow, that is what you perceive after 3 posts; I think that may have been a little quick to judge, that is how I perceive it.
I think it (swinging) would be a blast for my wife. I think it would add to our relationship. Believe me, if this was all just about "Me" there are plenty of "Me" things I could do, but won't do; the fact of the matter is its about "us". |
I think the reason Jester said this was because in two of your posts, you discuss how your wife has already stated she was against swinging and also you ask how you can "persuade" her to participate.
I agree, the term "persuade" correlates to many to also mean "manipulate" and most of us are against heavy-handed tactics such as arm-twisting to get someone to do what you want to do, and what they have already professed to be against.
Maybe it is semantics. But maybe your wife just enjoys flirting heavily and is simply not interested in having sex with anyone else, nor having you have sex with anyone else.
My suggestion would be to talk alot with her, invite her to read this board and find out we are not a bunch of perverts. And talk some more. And some more. Between the two of you.
Usually it is one part of a couple that first brings up the idea of swinging, and many times the other partner is reticent to agree, but with continued talking and hashing out the pros and cons, and talking openly and honestly to your desires for being in the lifestyle, the other partner starts to realize that it is not something that diminishes, but enhances a relationship. Perhaps this is what you meant by "persuading" your wife. But no one can give you advice on how to do that. Only you know your wife and how best to talk to her. I would be very reluctant to tell anyone specifically what to say or do to convince someone this is right for them, other than suggesting researching and communicating.