We haven't met any couple yet who is willing to allow a cheating male into their bed. And for good reason.
Our relationship is based on honesty and constant communication. And the reason we like to hang around with other swingers is we have found that they value those things just as highly as we do.
I concur with all the other posters here. You ARE cheating, and it is highly unlikely that you would find a couple willing to get involved with you. You really should talk to your wife, work things out or divorce. (IMHO, of course
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What you want to do is not fair to your wife, or to you.
Good luck!