Quote:
|
Originally Posted by EternallySingle I didn't see this post before. If I had, what I wrote at the end of your husband's post I would have written here. I won't say your friend used you and your husband to get back to the point where she could feel comfortable being sexual with a man, but in a sense, that is what happened....
I don't think you want her more than your husband, so you have to resign yourself to the fact that she doesn't need your emotional protection from men anymore. |
I didn't think of that, but maybe you're right... when we were vanilla friends for years I felt protective of her due to a couple of failed romances she incurred. Maybe you're right in that now it's morphed into a blurry line.
I think it is also difficult for me b/c for this time, she has been attached to me closely for a while, telling me how I was the number one person/relationship in her life (which for a time, was true), how she had *never, ever* come with a man like she had me (an ego boost?) and yet.... when I was met yesterday morning with the news that she not only has a new sex partner, but also said; "I thought I'd had the best sex of my life before, but I was wrong!" and proceeded to tell me the details. It was a bit shocking to hear about it in such terms. I don't think she understands the major shift I have incurred in her life in verra, verra short order, in terms of priority, by her own changing definitions of who and what I am to her. As a friend, I would've loved the juicy gossip. As the lover, I'm like, WTF? I thought *I* gave you the best orgasms???
Confusing? Anyway...
I also had a male friend of mine say the same thing that you said, today--that I was a stepping stone and now she doesn't me anymore
In our conversations she did say she was glad she had the new guy (to fall back on) in case I decided to pull the plug... yikes.... that hurt. There's a big difference--we were having a lot of sex anyway--I was not just into her as an alternative sex source when Husband is busy.
As for my Husband; I may be similar to my bf in ways... but I often feel he (corny as it is) completes me. The bonds we have go many years deep--he has committed to me, he has been there consistenly, he is the person with whom I make a home and the father of my child... if anything good has come of this, it's that our eyes have been opened to new parts of one another, and we are much closer than before. And besides... we learned we can work together under great pressure and against many odds to realize our goals and dreams.
I am most certainly pulling back from this lifestyle at this time, on that Husband and I agree!
~Tempest