I don't think she was saying that swinging and cheating were
the same, I think she was saying there are
similarities. I know this is a hot button among both swingers and the "morally righteous" alike, and regardless of which side of the debate a person is on, nothing said here is likely to change anybody's mind about it. But before this topic once again roars into a war of semantics and personal sniping, at least consider that 98% of all married people are in relationships in which sex outside the marriage isn't condoned under ANY circumstances. By the reckoning of
most of the population then, swingers, (who DO have sex outside the marriage) are seen as "unfaithful"...if not to their spouses, then at least to the vows of their marriage.
Some years ago, there was an ad campaign which asked whether Certs candy was a "candy mint" or a "breath mint." I didn't waste a whole lot of time pondering the question. I just figured it could be
either, depending on why the person was putting it in their mouth. Likewise, swinging. I honestly believe some people do it in lieu of cheating. I also believe others do it because they find it an intensely
bonding experience.
My experience in the lifestyle was that for me, it was a little of both.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by txduo2000 I consider an open marriage to be one where both partners are aware of the other partner's sexual proclivities outside the marriage, and is approving of the fact, whether they, themselves, actually participate in kind.
Conversely, cheating involves duplicity and deceit. Sneaking around without the other partner's knowledge and/or approval, simply out of complete disrespect of the marriage and the principals that their spouse holds toward sex and marriage. |
If I'm not mistaken, the O'Neil's, who literally "wrote the book" on "Open Marriage" in the early 70's, divorced just a few years after their work was published. After all the happy-horseshit about how they "trusted each other implicitly" and "communicated so well," it turned out that she had fallen in love with one of her "secondaries."
If anybody has any better information on that fiasco, I'd be interested in hearing it.