The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Wife say's no way to swinging. What do I do?

MrkLin · 12-09-2005, 12:56 AM

Tread softly here. You certainly don't want to lose what is otherwise a good marriage, and forcing the issue will certainly do that. This is NOT for everyone, and as VegasLee said, it's not for most. He's 100% correct. Most people never get into this lifestyle, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Our attitude is this lifestyle takes nothing away from either of us, it only adds to the sexual side of our relationship. This lifestyle is based on love, trust, and mutual respect. It must be looked at as sex with another "in addition to" your spouse, not "instead of" your spouse - even if your spouse isn't in the room at the time.

If you are a couple that can talk about fantasies and such, please do this first. You need to find out what she fantasizes about and work to that end - even if it doesn't include this lifestyle. She may never want to do anything with another person. She may dig in her heels and flatly refuse to even discuss it. If so, you have to respect that. Getting involved in something you don't want to get involved in is not an option.

There's no sure-fire way to get her to "open up." About all you can do is present it to her in an open and honest way and let her make up her own mind about things. Ask her to read some of the posts in this forum. There are erotic story sites that feature stories within this topic - heck, I've written a few myself. Don't push though. If you bombard her with this topic, it could only make her refusal to consider it even stronger, and that will only hurt your marriage as well.

As I said, tread softly.

12-09-2005, 12:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
MrkLin Your Tent or Ours? Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 706 Location: mm Status: Couple	Re: Wife say's no way? Tread softly here. You certainly don't want to lose what is otherwise a good marriage, and forcing the issue will certainly do that. This is NOT for everyone, and as VegasLee said, it's not for most. He's 100% correct. Most people never get into this lifestyle, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Our attitude is this lifestyle takes nothing away from either of us, it only adds to the sexual side of our relationship. This lifestyle is based on love, trust, and mutual respect. It must be looked at as sex with another "in addition to" your spouse, not "instead of" your spouse - even if your spouse isn't in the room at the time. If you are a couple that can talk about fantasies and such, please do this first. You need to find out what she fantasizes about and work to that end - even if it doesn't include this lifestyle. She may never want to do anything with another person. She may dig in her heels and flatly refuse to even discuss it. If so, you have to respect that. Getting involved in something you don't want to get involved in is not an option. There's no sure-fire way to get her to "open up." About all you can do is present it to her in an open and honest way and let her make up her own mind about things. Ask her to read some of the posts in this forum. There are erotic story sites that feature stories within this topic - heck, I've written a few myself. Don't push though. If you bombard her with this topic, it could only make her refusal to consider it even stronger, and that will only hurt your marriage as well. As I said, tread softly.