[EternallySingle]

TAKE THINGS SLOW!!!!!! Finding someone to have sex with is easy (and easier for single women than single men). Finding someone you want to have sex with is harder (and I guess harder for single women than for single men). There are thousands of single men in the Chicago area that would not only be happy to acccompany you to swing events that you would not only feel comfortable with, but feel safe with. You may even want a more permanent relationship with five or six of them and would narrow the choice down by the same criteria you would use when dating in what we call "The Vanilla World" The trick for single men and women is finding each other.

Online sucks, but its usually the only way to meet single men that KNOW about swinging. Meeting couples will be a little easier online, but mainly what works for one will work for both. You need to write them, not the other way around. To do this, block single men from seeing your profile, and actually LOOK at their profiles.

Pass on the ones where their main picture shows their penis. The guy probably hasn't written anything and is not interested in telling you anything except how many positions he can do in a night. You can find those guys for free at the grocery store on Thursday before the basketball game begins on TNT.

Pass on the ones that don't look like guys you would date outside of swinging. If you wouldn't be attracted to them if swinging wasn't an option, he'll pick up on it fast and inadvertanly make any meeting miserable.

Pass on the ones that immediately talk about their sexual experiences. You might think you would care, but if all you want is a sex toy, call an escort service.

Pass on the ones that don't tell you about their sexual experiences after you tell them about yours. They are too shy to perform when the time comes.

Don't write less than three emails before you decide to meet. If you are so attracted to a person online that you just have to meet them after the first email, you are too horny to think straight. You've missed a lot of signals they sent, or you are just caught up in their pictures or what they write. Either way, it will probably end bad. If not the first night, then later on when the trust should be getting deeper.

Don't write more than six emails before you decide to meet. If you have talked that much and still not sure, it won't work out. Either they don't excite you or they don't know HOW to excite you. Example:I was on a date and talking to a woman I had known for three months. By the end of the date, she had left four times and I was ready to go home. The last time she went to the restroom, the woman behind me asked if we were dating, and if I'd be interested in seeing her. Obviously, what I said to bore my date turned her on. We went out for six months before I was transferred to Germany.

NEVER PLAN TO HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST MEETING, BUT BE PREPARED TO HAVE SEX, NONE THE LESS!!!!!!! Make sure you have enough of everything, but don't tell them. If they have to travel more than three hours to see you, agree to meet them halfway and have your own hotel room rented so you won't have such a long drive home. If something happens and you do decide to play, call a friend and say where you are and to call you at a certain time the next day. Then insist they come to your room. And tell them that you have someone that will be checking on you in the morning. If they get upset because you don't trust them...run. FAST! Sex is not enough of a reason to let your guard down.

Lastly, don't be so cautious this becomes work. You know which don't creep you out. You know which don't put you immediately on edge. When you do talk to someone, ask yourself "Would I be talking to them if I weren't interested in having sex with them?" If the answer is "NO", just tell them "No offense, but I don't think we can hit it off."

Most importantly, talk to the guys you date. You'll be surprised how many of them might have been involved in a threesome in the past or have also thought about swinging but didn't know any women that wouldn't run at the thought.