Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chicup I have to wonder why people come to swingers, to ask us about basic relationship advice. |
Well, if the intentions are sincere, I think swingers should be pretty pleased that someone would think to come to them for relationship advice!
It
is kinda our specialty.
Thomas333, I'd suggest that you do your best to avoid this woman until things cool off. I understand that an infatuation can be very powerful in its persuasion, but for the sake of your marriage, let the head rule here, not the heart (or the little head)! One thing you said that concerns me is that you considered Susan your best friend. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought your spouse should be your best friend.
A few other things:
Your friend Susan said she loved you "platonically". This might mean two things. One, that she really does only see you as a friend and that she's not interested in anything more, or two, she would like to pursue a romantic relationship with you but doesn't want to be the one to blame for screwing up her own marriage...so she's waiting for you to press the issue and be the bad guy. Either way, pursuing this relationship with her without your wife's and her husband's blessings is just NOT a good idea!
#2, This whole situation begs the question: Is there something missing between you and your wife that is causing you to choose someone else over her? If you are not choosing Susan OVER her, but would simply like to have (and feel you can handle) both relationships simultaneously, then you should be trying a polyamory board, not a swingers board. These feelings you have are perhaps more in line with that philosophy.
#3, Your wife had one bad experience with jealousy, seeing you with the other woman/women. Don't give up on exploring swinging with her so hastily. She said at that point she was NOT interested, period. But jealousy is a nasty thing and it does hurt a lot when it bites you. Try finding other ways to explore swinging with your wife that might introduce her more gently to it, and make sure you both talk about why she reacted the way she did, and what deeper feelings might be causing these jealous feelings. Do a search here on the board for 'jealousy' and see what comes up. Lots of great advice here.
Hope this helps some. Good luck!