Hmmm, understand exactly what you mean Mr. Spoo....
One of mine and Ted's favorite saying is ...So many people to do and not enough time to do them
We have pretty much taken on the same attitude that Pepper & Drew have... we do what we want, not what others want us to. If we are at a social and are there to play specifically with one couple, we do spend time talking to others, but we also let them know that tonight we're playing with so-in-so, but thanks for the invite. If we are overwhelmed with PM's and e-mails...we let them all know that we are extremely busy most of the time and it may take time to get together. They either accept it or they don't.
We found that you can't live you life, either vanilla life or swinging life, trying to please others, you have to please yourself. Sometimes there is nothing to do but say sorry, we just don't have the time.
Teresa