[BodyScape02]

This is a copy of a post that answers your question from another place on the board were it was burried in a poll... I hope it answers your question to your satisfaction.

Having said that... I really thought about this question and went back through my journals and realized Mr. Body did do some things to help me become comfortable with swinging... to seduce me into the sport ...so to speak.

He introduced me to porn... other than playboy (when I was 14 ,reading those , late at night after the kids I baby sat were long in bed, is were I got my idea of female sensuality and how I was to look). He sent me the link to the huns yellow pages and I started surfing.

He would send me little links in e-mail of really hot pics, now and then, as foreplay. At first just beautiful erotica of women and then couple pics ...very sensual and very artsy... ones were the woman was the star and obviously enjoying herself. They would always say… she reminds me of you… or this girl has the sensuality of you.

Then, I found some pics of mfm threesomes, and one clip with Monique St Jacques that really got me going. So he started sending me mfm clips and then ffm threesomes... etc...as my appetite and interest grew... and it always ended with us having really hot sex as a couple- with no mention of adding anyone or swinging.

Then when I mentioned it one night he did research and found this board and being the egg head that I am... research appeals to me. So we spent a year reading (and having great sex with each other) and I learned it was not what I thought it was. I was able to see the community for what it is. ( Invite them to read this board...archived posts as well... the ones were we riled against cheaters... interviews ....select ones that pertain to whatever her/ his fears and intersts are)

I was able to learn from others what to watch out for and see that most of the couples here valued honesty, communication and their marriages MORE than anywhere else I had ever been.

I also began to associate it with great sex... the reward system was firmly falling into place. lol

IT TOOK 2 YEARS... before we decided to give it a try and that was me with another woman... then a while longer and we tried soft swap.

My Point?

HE GAVE ME THE TIME I NEEDED... that really let me know it was not about him getting what he wanted... I didn't feel used or rushed...

All good things ...

So if I have any advice for those who would like to try this and haven't a clue how to bring it up... it would be to

BE PATIENT

Entice your mate- don't rush them...

and be prepared to perhaps only live this out as a fantasy. You have to accept the fact that not everyone can handle this.

Oddly only those with really strong unions were communication rules and the two of you are REALLY SECURE in the belief that you are loved and cherished above all else...survive or thrive. It seems Counterintuitive (to what I had assumed) but it is valid.

If you push too hard... she/he will feel railroaded and it may likely have the opposite effect of that you had desired.

I hope that helps… it is as honest of an answer as I can give… best wishes

Ms Bodyscape