[oncewere]

Our club was very selective so this may not apply to the general public but for the most part we found that lack of chemistry usually meant the other person just wasn't comfortable. Barb and I often played a game when someone didn't click too well at first. We'd try to find out how to please the other person without worrying about our own lack of interest. About half the time, when the other person began to get with the programe, we did too. Some of our best play friends started out as "there just wasn't any chemistry." working at our game often made the chemistry work. If it didn't work, by the time I would give up Barb would have gotten her jollies.

There were some issues that completely turned us off. Even then, the problems often were manifestations of nervousness. Once a mile-a-minute talker had something else to do with her mouth things often got better. We usually didn't regret taking one for the team since working at making it better usually made it better. I remember one occasion when Barb cut off a macho controlling braggart. "Knock off the bullshit. Do you want to fuck or be atilla the hun?" She read him the riot act, letting him know that he wouldn't be invited back if he kept it up. Half an hour later with pertinent input from other women, including his wife, the guy got the message. That was his way of dealing with inadequacy and nervousness. He later became a good friend. BTW "hun" became our signal that things weren't going to work out.