Quote:
...as a single swinger, how willing are you to give that much of yourself for the person/s you're attracted to in the couple? do you ever "hold back" on opening up completely to couples, feeling like they have the relationship, so they should be required to 'give more' and 'open up' more since they are at an emotional and maybe even percieved social advantage?
and as secondary questions:
straight single guys; how willing are you to develop a good relationship(non sexual) with the male of a couple you get involved with?
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I've engaged in purely one-off/no-strings -- almost anonymous -- encounters. And enjoyed most of them, too. However, in the swing groups (on-premise clubs, Yahoo groups, house party groups, camping groups, etc.) that I participate in on a regular basis (every other month or two), I truly look at things from the "friends with benefits" perspective.
I open up with couples as much as I would expect them to be open with me. We're friends. It's different from my other friendships in that we occasionally like to get off together
, but we're still just friends. I don't have any really, really close friends in the lifestyle like I do in the vanilla world, but quite a few couples are much more than just acquaintances. So, I "open up" to the level of friends. I do not enter any of these swing relationships with a couple with the idea that there will be a romantic element. I DO NOT WANT THAT
, so that's where the boundary lies.
And as a single male I always at the very minimum am polite to the male of the couple. My problem here is that I'm generally not that outgoing and small-talk can be a bit of a trial for me, but outside of any swing encounters I've managed to have great conversations with the males of the couples. I would consider a couple of the guys more than acquaintances, but haven't yet met any that I would just call up to watch a football game or have a beer with. If that would happen, that would just be a bonus to an overall relationship with a couple. So I'm open to a non-sexual friendship with the male of a couple, it just hasn't happened yet.
Um...does that answer your question?