Quote:
|
Originally Posted by valley You poor dear sweet men! |
Someone give me something to cut my veins!
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by valley .......unfortunately many of you still think sex is a competition.'what if he's better than me ?'.....'What if she likes it bigger than me ?'......'what if.....' and so it goes on forever. |
As a better startpoint, it would be good to understand it isn't something you actually "think" because you have a belief. It's a cultural legacy which, at last, comes from our biology as mamals: if it were up to the biligical stuff, we would be competing, and that was translated into our culture, at many levels (and actually not only for males): you have to be successfull like the model shown on TV, and many aspects of our lives are driven by expectations which not necesarily belong to us. Our culture whispers against our ears, telling us we have to be good providers, they have to perceive us a solid and able to protect our families (thus you shouldn't show any flaw or weakness), so we're pushed to fit the macho stereotype.
Some of us already evolved biologically and have eyelids in their ears as to be able to stop hearing the whispering, others still didn't.
This isn't something belonging to our gender, it have many faces, some affects women, some affects men, and some both. And also this isn't something you can get rid of by means of just rationalizing: I actually don't believe it's a contest, and the idea of competing ins't even appealing to me, even so, I have to recognize I hear the cultural background whispering.
Culture have an inertia, you cannot change some things just because you "understood" the facts. As example of this, even when being as sexually liberals as we are because of our lifestyle, wifes still carry on her husbands last names and drop their own lastname. What for? Just because maternity is something given for granted by nature, while paternity isn't, it is just a matter of faith (unless ADN test bring up, but people only submit to those test when under a serious dispute) and that play a big role in the cultural murmbling that undermine our gender at an existential level: women are closest to the Gods because they bring life to this world, and they leave a legacy when gone, but men have to have faith about the legacy they actually are supposed to leave. So, we, males, needed to "own" a woman as our property because that way we supposedly own their product: life. And we did it for how long? for thousands of years perhaps, and we still need to "brand" our property with our lastname, and in a lot of countries even law enforces this, a custom made to uphold males faith.
This existential difference put men and women in different worlds, we joke about this: "who understand women?", and actually we cannot, and women cannot understand men. You're form Venus and we're from Mars, and even when we use the same words, we have a different language that just seems to be the same.
So, I may rephrase your sentence as to clarify the meaning of your words in Martian language: "You poor dear sweet men, you still need to have faith"... and yes, actually that's the truth.
sereneiders