The Swingers Board - View Single Post - How to deal with one partner not being interested in swinging

Fringeswinger · 11-08-2005, 02:28 PM

Well,

Although I'm not even that far along and may never be, I would say that first you need to be patient and let it simmer. I know in my own situation the chance of it happening is probably ZERO due to the wife and a few of my own issues (not to judge anyone else here).

I understand that and although I'm sure it would be an awesome experience and would be on my top 10 list of things to do before I die, it would get trumped by my wife's feelings. I cannot, would not hurt her or force her to do it through intimidation, guilt, badgering or anything else. She is my best friend and, although it sounds corny, it makes me happy when she is happy. It's no fun if she is in pain or upset.

Actually, if she would just participate in a fantasy role play or hell, just tell me about her own fantasy that would be enough for me! The mind is such an erogenous zone that I can get excited just from reading these posts!

So I would say to satisfy your desires you might want to TRY exchanging those fantasies before, during or after sex. At this point, no pressure, leave it in the bedroom. I can't see any harm in just talking. As for my wife and I, as long as we both understand the context of the statements (fantasy) there is nothing illegal or immoral about it. If the fantasy pleases the other, why not go with it? Isn't that what love is all about? Enjoying each other's happiness?

I can't think of anything my wife could say (in fantasy) that would make me upset or jealous. Just the contrary, I would be ecstatic that she shared her most intimate thoughts with me (as I have with her)! Want another guy? GREAT! Want 2 at a time? Even better! Why should I deny her that when mine is a threesome with her and another girl?

Then of course there are chat rooms, message boards, email exchange, instant messaging, etc. to discuss your desires or go as far as cybersex. I'm not sure how I feel about cyber though. Some feel it is cheating, some don't. If hubby knows that's how you need to handle the situation and he is ok with it, then it is your moral decision. Behind his back is probably just wrong.

Good luck.

11-08-2005, 02:28 PM	#5 (permalink)
Fringeswinger Here to Stay Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 50 Location: New Orleans	Re: Awkward position....(no pun intended) Well, Although I'm not even that far along and may never be, I would say that first you need to be patient and let it simmer. I know in my own situation the chance of it happening is probably ZERO due to the wife and a few of my own issues (not to judge anyone else here). I understand that and although I'm sure it would be an awesome experience and would be on my top 10 list of things to do before I die, it would get trumped by my wife's feelings. I cannot, would not hurt her or force her to do it through intimidation, guilt, badgering or anything else. She is my best friend and, although it sounds corny, it makes me happy when she is happy. It's no fun if she is in pain or upset. Actually, if she would just participate in a fantasy role play or hell, just tell me about her own fantasy that would be enough for me! The mind is such an erogenous zone that I can get excited just from reading these posts! So I would say to satisfy your desires you might want to TRY exchanging those fantasies before, during or after sex. At this point, no pressure, leave it in the bedroom. I can't see any harm in just talking. As for my wife and I, as long as we both understand the context of the statements (fantasy) there is nothing illegal or immoral about it. If the fantasy pleases the other, why not go with it? Isn't that what love is all about? Enjoying each other's happiness? I can't think of anything my wife could say (in fantasy) that would make me upset or jealous. Just the contrary, I would be ecstatic that she shared her most intimate thoughts with me (as I have with her)! Want another guy? GREAT! Want 2 at a time? Even better! Why should I deny her that when mine is a threesome with her and another girl? Then of course there are chat rooms, message boards, email exchange, instant messaging, etc. to discuss your desires or go as far as cybersex. I'm not sure how I feel about cyber though. Some feel it is cheating, some don't. If hubby knows that's how you need to handle the situation and he is ok with it, then it is your moral decision. Behind his back is probably just wrong. Good luck.