Wow...you guys are really helping me out here.
<<You mentioned that you might not be a "swinger", but from one of your statements, it seems that you have wanted to be all along. You stated that you've cheated on every boyfriend you've had (which isn't "swinging", by the way)! >>
Oh I know, I was not likening cheating to swinging. Basically what I meant was that I've always wanted to have a stable boyfriend and also have the freedom to sleep with whoever I wanted on the side. So I guess that is right, I have always wanted to be a swinger. When I was younger however, I had no idea such a thing even existed! I guess I was thinking along the lines of having an open relationship, which is what I did have with my last boyfriend, before moving on to my current one. The only thing I need to open up to is the fact that if I am going to have other partners, then I need to grant my boyfriend the same freedom.
<<"Should have felt"??? Why do you feel that?>>
I do very much fight an internal battle. While I can't help being attracted to many different guys, there is a part of me that thinks sex outside of your relationship is wrong, or unnatural. I know what
is unnatural is to expect a person to be attracted to only their SO for the rest of their lives. That's unrealistic. There is a huge gap between what I think and what I feel. I *think* threesomes or swinging in general is wrong. There is a part of me that is very traditional. But at the same time I very much enjoy non-traditional sex, crave variety, and while I can see myself emotionally attached to one person for a long time, I can't see going forever with only one sexual partner. So I guess I have a lot to work out. Does it seem like it would be beneficial for me to continue to pursue a "swinging" lifestyle or not?