[JnCC]

Okay, long answers short...

Originally Posted by SableOnBlond

1) Is it okay or totally inexcusable for me to fool around with his friend when my boyfriend isn't around (even though I tell him every time I do it).

Yea, probably. Cohabitating is a matter of convenience. A ring usually signifies a certain level of committment and exclusivity. Unless you have a ring or have discussed exclusivity specifically with your boyfriend, you can fuck pretty much whoever you want anytime you want. I just wouldn't do it in the house you're sharing with him. (I'm old fashioned)

And then there are the other times when he'll suggest I flash his friend or go down naked. What should I think?

You should think that he's either "Just Not That Into You" as a popular book title suggests, or that you're living with a fucking idiot. Probably a little of BOTH...

Is it very likely that my boyfriend is bi and has wanted to be intimate with his friend for some time?

Probably, although I'm sure he, like most guys, will deny it. I'm not passing judgement here, just making a logical deduction. If he wanted a child to join you in bed, I'd say he's probably a pedophile. If he wanted a donkey to join you, I'd think he's probably into beastiality. If he wanted to bring a corpse into your bed, I'd say he's probably a necrophiliac. As it now stands, all he wants is to bring another man into your bed. Ergo, he's probably just bisexual.

Thank your lucky stars, girl...things could be worse!

What exactly does it mean that he gets turned on by me sleeping with/flashing his friend?

It could mean a lot of things, but the shortest and most likely answer is that he's repressed his homosexual tendencies, and that having you, a woman, in bed with he and his friend validates their masculinity in what is fundamentally a MM encounter. As for the flashing, it follows that at some subliminal level, he wishes he got the same level of arousal from flashing another man that you do.

Does it have to do more with me or his friend?

I don't know. Tell him that you absolutely refuse to do any of this stuff with his friend ever again. The one of you that's still in the house 3 months from now is the one it "has more to do with."

Is this at all normal?

Let me preface my answer by saying that somebody recently sent me a picture of a hairy, middle-aged man in a red corset, on his knees, fucking the tailpipe of a pick-up truck. Is it "normal?" I suppose...for him at least. He was smiling, and I didn't see anybody holding a gun to his head. I guess the moral of the story is that anything you do, if you do it often enough and without being forced, becomes "normal"...to you at least.

That doesn't mean that whatever you're doing doesn't seem pretty fucked-up to the rest of the world.

Okay, anyone ever been in an even remotely similiar situation? Any thoughts or advice? I'm sorry if I sound totally dumb...I never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this!

That's OK Darlin'...I'm sure that's what the guy in the red corset was thinking the first time he saw his picture plastered all over the internet