I was in a similar situation when I was married to my first husband (call him S). After our daughter was born I stayed home while he worked. When she was 4 months old a friend of his (call him T) was discharged from the army and my ex invited him to stay with us until he got a job and a place of his own. Now T wasn't someone I would normally be attracted to, too tall, too skinny, real short crew cut, but he was very funny and could always make me laugh. After his first week with us he and I became close. S was ignoring me because I still had not lost my baby fat and was always putting me down for something. T would actually stand up for me and that made him even more attractive. One night the three of us were watching TV and T was wearing a silly T-shirt that said "Kiss me I'm Irish" on it. S made a joke about then said go ahead. I was shocked but he insisted because T hadn't been kissed in a long time. So I did. The next morning T was standing in our bedroom when I came out of the shower. Other than the towel around my hair I was naked. Without a word we melted into the bed and had sex. It had been over a year for him and it only lasted about 30 seconds but still. We never did anything after that but S kept up the sexual inuendo about us for the next two weeks until T moved out.
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1) Is it okay or totally inexcusable for me to fool around with his friend when my boyfriend isn't around (even though I tell him every time I do it). If he never outright forbids me to do it, does that mean he doesn't mind? Sometimes when I go downstairs to get something he'll say "Hurry back" which I take to mean "No fooling around." And then there are the other times when he'll suggest I flash his friend or go down naked. What should I think?
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Have you discussed it? If your bf knows about you fooling around and is asking for details I would assume that he is ok with it. The times he suggest you flash or go naked are probably times he is horny and wanting to swing.
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2) Is it very likely that my boyfriend is bi and has wanted to be intimate with his friend for some time? What exactly does it mean that he gets turned on by me sleeping with/flashing his friend? Does it have to do more with me or his friend?
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MrXxotic gets turned on when I have sex with or flash other men. I think a lot of the men on this board will say the same thing. Your partner being pleasured is a large part of what swinging is all about. This is one reason we usually only swing with single men. As for your bf and his friend being bi that is something I can't even begin to help you with. I love watching two men together and being between two bi guys but it ain't for everyone.
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3) Is this at all normal?
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If you read the boards with an open mind you will quickly see that there is not a "normal" way to swing.