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Originally Posted by Spoomonkey If you felt a little funny about it, why would either of you agree to go ahead with it?
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This is about US first. Not me - not her - but US. I am really baffled by couples who constantly miss that point and drift toward some rather rocky places.
Spoomonkey |
I have to second Spoomonkey on this one... Me too …on both points.
She did not communicate with you darling` ... she threw you an ultimatum.
A " What are you gonna do about it" statement and then used coercion ( I.e. you go find someone too) to reinforce her choice. Those are communication tactics... but not ones I would call a dialogue.
She basically told you...she wants an open marriage... you are being cuckolded. If that is fine with you... then there you are... if not... you have to decide how much self respect you want to loose or how little of it you can live with. That is a very personal choice.
If you want her... you could perhaps try to woo her all over again and provide her with whatever it is she is missing in your relationship that makes her feel valid ( notice I did not say ..is valid) in her choice.
The only insight I can come up with is that , like many women, she may miss the seduction and excitement of when love is new. I am throwing that out there as a starting point for renewing your communication. If you work at making her fall in love with you all over again... well I don't know what woman doesn't love that.
Remember , loving her isn't necessarily "letting her take lovers" Make sure you remain her number one lover...never get lazy about that guys ( general request from me personally). I think it is what leads most women to go astray and end up becoming and adulteress.
Just a suggestion... darling...Only you can choose... only you two.
Best wishes...my heart bleeds for you.
Ms. Body