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Originally Posted by montresor Even then, we both felt a little funny because of the last-minute nature of it, and I think were both relieved when she ended up not having sex and coming home early. |
If you felt a little funny about it, why would either of you agree to go ahead with it?
I would think the wise thing would be to simply realize that there are other nights, better circumstances and less "funny feelings" in just saying "wait". If things make either of us feel even a little bit uncomfortable, we just don't do it.
Even if only one of us has that feeling - and even if we can't explain why we have it, it's just some gut reaction - we walk away from the situation. Every time we have done that, something later tells us we made the right decision. Open communication is sometimes saying "no" - open mindedness is sometimes being okay with hearing "no".
This is about US first. Not me - not her - but US. I am really baffled by couples who constantly miss that point and drift toward some rather rocky places.
Spoomonkey