You've mentioned that the situation has been emotional, and I'm assuming that means for both couples?
Our first experience was similar, only with the other couple getting very emotional and argumentative in front of us... We had "dated" several times prior to trying anything and pretty much let them take it at their own pace...They were a very nice couple and we got along well with them. After a couple tries with the same results, we ended up kind of mutually deciding not to see each other any more. It was tough at first, but we got through it and decided to learn from our experience and try again. And no, we haven't been in contact with them since.
We eventually found a couple we really seemed to click with and have been very happy since. Not that it has been a friction free ride either, but it has been incredibly awesome when it's good. I doubt that there are that many swingers out there that have been at this for very long that can say every experience has been better than the last. The people you choose to play with are people, and subject to the same trials and quirks as everyone else.
The level of friendship you decide on is almost independent of the level of sexual involvement you decide on. We've found that for us the more connected we feel to our playmates, the more intense the sex can be. But that also means a higher emotional risk as well.
Sex and Emotions are a very two edged sword. At one end of the scale, if you have sex without any emotional connection, then it will likely tend to become mechanical and ultimately unsatisfying once the thrill of having new partners has worn off. On the other hand, if you have a total emotional commitment to another couple then you risk blurring the lines of commitment in your spousal relationship. Finding the balance among these extremes for you as a couple is one of the keys to being able to successfully enjoy having relationships outside the marriage both in the bedroom and out.
Good luck!
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