The Swingers Board - View Single Post

Too Tall · 10-26-2005, 03:37 PM

Ok.... I took a totally different approach to the whole profile thing, but I just couldn't stand putting up the standard "cookie cutter profile..." even if it was infused with loads of charm. Probably will never get a reply... but at least I can't be accused of being un-original. Thought I would post it here, just because I think the quiz is so clever and relates to the topic so well.

Ok... so a swing couple who are VERY good friends send out a 10 question quiz to perspective single male playmates, that they say saves them a lot of time culling through the hundreds of e-mails they get every month. I decided that rather than write the same old profile, that I would just take their quiz and post it here to see if it really will save us all time. Let me know how you think they would score me.

THE QUIZ:

1. WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DO YOU MOST RESEMBLE? Um, well people tell me I look like Gerald McCranny (Major Dad)... I don't know who he is so I can’t say if they are right. So I would have to say BJ Honeycutt from MASH, that is if he were a foot taller and played middle line backer for the Bears.

2. TELL US A JOKE YOU THINK IS FUNNY. I can never remember jokes, but I remembered the punch line to one, it goes, "that's ok reverend, we aren't welcomed back at Wal-Mart either."

3. ALL GUYS SAY THEIR COCK MEASURES 12 OR MORE, OUR EXPERIENCE SAYS THEY MUST BE USING THE METRIC SYSTEM. FINE! HOW MANY CENTIMETERS LONG IS YOUR ERECT COCK? Had to use a conversion slide-rule BUT my cock is either 17 or 170 (either way…. I love the metric system).

4. CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR STAMINA. "MINUTE MAN," "MIDDLE MAN," "ENERGIZER BUNNY?" Well, lets just say that my batteries are rechargeable in 10-15 minutes.

5. HOW WOULD YOUR LAST PARTNER ANSWER QUESTION #4. After only three recharging she just rolled over and went to sleep -- refused to talk or cuddle.

6. MATH SECTION - TAKE THE NUMBER OF PARTNERS YOU CLAIM YOU HAVE HAD, DIVIDE BY 75% AND SUBSTRACT THE NUMBER THAT WERE ACTUALLY REPEAT PARTNERS.
Ok...so 75 divided by 75 equals 1… LESS 32 equals.. negative 32... WOW either I suck at math or I'm a virgin.

7. IN OUR EXPERIENCE 90% OF SINGLE GUYS LIE ON LINE ABOUT THEIR TRUE RELATIONSHIP STATUS, CONVINCE US YOU ARE PART OF THE 10%. Ok, I'm a married male playing as a single with my wife's permission. That claim is SO unbelievable it has to be true. Also I realize that it disqualifies me as a play partner for 99% of the swing world, so why would I lie... but there is still that 1%...lol.

8. EVERY GUYS SAYS HE IS A "SKILLED LOVER," OK TEACH US A TRICK WE DON'T KNOW. Ok... this called the "g-spot juicer" trick. First find her g-spot (its right between her "F" and "H" spot). Now place your hand flat on her belly just above her pubic bone. Now press down with steady press as you use the "come hither" motion with the fingers of your other hand. I advise you not to wear you good shoes for this one.

9. TELL US WHAT WE WOULD SAY ABOUT YOU AFTER OUR FIRST DINNER BUT BEFORE OUR FIRST SEX. Well, I would hope you would say that I'm "an easy going guy who is easy to talk to" (I pride myself in may ability to people at ease by always finding a common interests), that "he seems smart” or better yet, "he’s smart ass" (no I’m not “smart mouthed” (I hate rude people) but I do love to make people laugh even though I have a rather dry sense of humor – if you didn’t notice that this whole quiz is tongue in cheek – you won’t get my humor), that I'm not the typical, "self-centered single guy who has only one thing on his mind to the point that there is little room for anything else." I've gotten to the point in life were I want my partners to have some "there"... "there" – so I feel obligated to offer the same. I like getting to know (and playing with) REAL PEOPLE not blow up dolls with strategically placed holes... in fact I prefer playing with people I ACTUALLY KNOW AND LIKE... (I know, I'm a freak that way). Many the couples I’ve met in the lifestyle are my best friends first… playmates second (if at all).

10. TELL US THE ONE THING YOU DON'T WANT US TO KNOW!
How unbelievably square most people think I am. I’m probably the last one in the room you would guess had such a "wild side" and maybe the last you would pick to play with because of the “starched collar” “straight laced” vibe I give off in the rest of my life. That’s not to say that I’m not personable or fun at office parties, but I’m a painfully proper and serious in my professional life, which probably explains why I’m so passionate, hedonistic and fun loving in my private life (work hard, play harder…lol).

10-26-2005, 03:37 PM	#40 (permalink)
Too Tall Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Leesburg, VA Status: m. male Swing Lifestyle Name:Too Tall	Re: Single men & Profiles (Advice) Ok.... I took a totally different approach to the whole profile thing, but I just couldn't stand putting up the standard "cookie cutter profile..." even if it was infused with loads of charm. Probably will never get a reply... but at least I can't be accused of being un-original. Thought I would post it here, just because I think the quiz is so clever and relates to the topic so well. Ok... so a swing couple who are VERY good friends send out a 10 question quiz to perspective single male playmates, that they say saves them a lot of time culling through the hundreds of e-mails they get every month. I decided that rather than write the same old profile, that I would just take their quiz and post it here to see if it really will save us all time. Let me know how you think they would score me. THE QUIZ: 1. WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DO YOU MOST RESEMBLE? Um, well people tell me I look like Gerald McCranny (Major Dad)... I don't know who he is so I can’t say if they are right. So I would have to say BJ Honeycutt from MASH, that is if he were a foot taller and played middle line backer for the Bears. 2. TELL US A JOKE YOU THINK IS FUNNY. I can never remember jokes, but I remembered the punch line to one, it goes, "that's ok reverend, we aren't welcomed back at Wal-Mart either." 3. ALL GUYS SAY THEIR COCK MEASURES 12 OR MORE, OUR EXPERIENCE SAYS THEY MUST BE USING THE METRIC SYSTEM. FINE! HOW MANY CENTIMETERS LONG IS YOUR ERECT COCK? Had to use a conversion slide-rule BUT my cock is either 17 or 170 (either way…. I love the metric system). 4. CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR STAMINA. "MINUTE MAN," "MIDDLE MAN," "ENERGIZER BUNNY?" Well, lets just say that my batteries are rechargeable in 10-15 minutes. 5. HOW WOULD YOUR LAST PARTNER ANSWER QUESTION #4. After only three recharging she just rolled over and went to sleep -- refused to talk or cuddle. 6. MATH SECTION - TAKE THE NUMBER OF PARTNERS YOU CLAIM YOU HAVE HAD, DIVIDE BY 75% AND SUBSTRACT THE NUMBER THAT WERE ACTUALLY REPEAT PARTNERS. Ok...so 75 divided by 75 equals 1… LESS 32 equals.. negative 32... WOW either I suck at math or I'm a virgin. 7. IN OUR EXPERIENCE 90% OF SINGLE GUYS LIE ON LINE ABOUT THEIR TRUE RELATIONSHIP STATUS, CONVINCE US YOU ARE PART OF THE 10%. Ok, I'm a married male playing as a single with my wife's permission. That claim is SO unbelievable it has to be true. Also I realize that it disqualifies me as a play partner for 99% of the swing world, so why would I lie... but there is still that 1%...lol. 8. EVERY GUYS SAYS HE IS A "SKILLED LOVER," OK TEACH US A TRICK WE DON'T KNOW. Ok... this called the "g-spot juicer" trick. First find her g-spot (its right between her "F" and "H" spot). Now place your hand flat on her belly just above her pubic bone. Now press down with steady press as you use the "come hither" motion with the fingers of your other hand. I advise you not to wear you good shoes for this one. 9. TELL US WHAT WE WOULD SAY ABOUT YOU AFTER OUR FIRST DINNER BUT BEFORE OUR FIRST SEX. Well, I would hope you would say that I'm "an easy going guy who is easy to talk to" (I pride myself in may ability to people at ease by always finding a common interests), that "he seems smart” or better yet, "he’s smart ass" (no I’m not “smart mouthed” (I hate rude people) but I do love to make people laugh even though I have a rather dry sense of humor – if you didn’t notice that this whole quiz is tongue in cheek – you won’t get my humor), that I'm not the typical, "self-centered single guy who has only one thing on his mind to the point that there is little room for anything else." I've gotten to the point in life were I want my partners to have some "there"... "there" – so I feel obligated to offer the same. I like getting to know (and playing with) REAL PEOPLE not blow up dolls with strategically placed holes... in fact I prefer playing with people I ACTUALLY KNOW AND LIKE... (I know, I'm a freak that way). Many the couples I’ve met in the lifestyle are my best friends first… playmates second (if at all). 10. TELL US THE ONE THING YOU DON'T WANT US TO KNOW! How unbelievably square most people think I am. I’m probably the last one in the room you would guess had such a "wild side" and maybe the last you would pick to play with because of the “starched collar” “straight laced” vibe I give off in the rest of my life. That’s not to say that I’m not personable or fun at office parties, but I’m a painfully proper and serious in my professional life, which probably explains why I’m so passionate, hedonistic and fun loving in my private life (work hard, play harder…lol).