Don't feel that anyone is judging you, you have asked for advice and have gotton opinions, what you do with those is is completley up to you. You have rules, sometimes rules get broken, and so do hearts, please forgive and move on (I won't say forget) for your own sake. I'm sure no one meant to make you feel like a liar, they are just trying to understand and help.
And I would'nt be afraid to ask another question, you may get some very good advice, or at least see some different angles.
best to you
xxx
chastityr