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Originally Posted by pacpl4funn What do I want from this???
To have a good time, exerience life and all it's many wonders WITH my husband.
Why do "I" want this? Because it's something he's wanted to try for along time and I am cruious, I'd like to try it and I also want to have a good time while making us both happy.
What personal issues do I have with sharing my husband? Tough question to be honest. I can share to a point, every adventure is different, and if the situation is handled correctly, however, I don't want to throw away the things that make our life special either.
What if he or she has a much better time on a date than I do, can i handle watching him get off if my partner is not performing? No I don't think I can, what your asking is like if one wasn't having a good time, should the one who isn't go out and sit in the car and wait??? Sorry but I thought the pretense of swinging was that both have a good time or the night ends early!!
What More do I want??? the answer no one here seems capable of giving,
How do you move on, how do you forgive when your trust has been violated? |
Ok, in the OP's response here I find GLARING RED FLAGS with neon lights coursing all through it.
"Why do "I" want this? Because it's something he's wanted to try for along time and I am cruious, I'd like to try it and I also want to have a good time while making us both happy."
Wrong, wrong, wrong .... In this question and answer, you pretty much make it clear that you are in this becuase HE wants to be. NO relationship swinging or otherwise will survive if one partner is doing things that they really would rather not do for the sake of the other partner. I am all about give-and-take in a marriage, but we are not talking about refusing to get angry because he forgot to put the tootpaste cap on again. We are talking about sharing your bodies, your most intimate physical beings with other people!!!! If YOU aren't comfortable with that, then NO SWINGING. Period.
In the rest of this response you go on to basically further exemplify your extreme discomfort of this lifestyle. Sex with others is not an choreographed event. Every single move cannot be anticipated each time. For many of us, that is part of the thrill, much more exciting than watching porn. If you want orchestrated ... you might try porn.
And as one other said, there should be no scorekeeping in swinging. Sometimes, if you continue, you will have a better time than he, sometimes vice versa. But to get angry because of that ... well, you are only hurting yourself to go that route. And eventually it will hurt your marriage.
I really believe, by the depths of your anger, hurt and frustration that this is not a lifestyle that is healthy for your relationship. You both have to be on the same page in normal everyday life before you can even consider getting on the same swing-page.
If your marriage is not already open, healthy, communicative and strong, swinging will only shred it to pieces.