The Swingers Board - View Single Post - First Swap! DH forgot OUR rules! What to do??

tribbles · 10-20-2005, 02:48 PM

His lack of control and care for my feelings took away from my experience

I see this as "stinking thinking" on your part. He lost control BECAUSE of how he thought you were excited. He was turned on, not only by the other woman but by what he thought was YOUR excitement. She provided the physical stimulation but thoughts of YOU were the mental and emotional turn on and that tipped him over the edge. And lack of care for your feelings? He thought you were feeling good and having a great time!

Most, if not all of us, treat, talk, touch others the way we want to be touched, treated and talked to...and everyone is different, so we keep doing to others how we want it done and no one gets what they want! You say you held back in mfm's for him....but did he actually KNOW you wanted him to hold back his excitement and thoughts of you enjoying it, just in case you weren't having the fun he wanted you to have?

Talk with each other from the starting point of "he (or she) would NOT do anything that they KNOW would hurt me. Therefore, even tho I'm hurt, it was not what my honey wanted to do. How do we keep it from happening again? What can I learn about myself and partner from this?

We have BTDT and that is one of the things that allowed us to put it all back together.

Also, maybe he didn't feel the first squirt....my honey says each time feels different to him - some O's are no squirters and others are squirt lots..I've seen shock on his face when he didn't know he was even near the edge. Beats me how that works cuz I KNOW for me when I'm near but I have to work at it to cum and he just has it "happen" without effort most the time.

Please keep in mind this is just IMHO and may not be worth 2 cents....

Good luck!
S

10-20-2005, 02:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
tribbles Fun and Pleasure Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 871 Location: SouthWest Status: Couple	Re: 1st time swap and DH forgets OUR rules What to do?? His lack of control and care for my feelings took away from my experience I see this as "stinking thinking" on your part. He lost control BECAUSE of how he thought you were excited. He was turned on, not only by the other woman but by what he thought was YOUR excitement. She provided the physical stimulation but thoughts of YOU were the mental and emotional turn on and that tipped him over the edge. And lack of care for your feelings? He thought you were feeling good and having a great time! Most, if not all of us, treat, talk, touch others the way we want to be touched, treated and talked to...and everyone is different, so we keep doing to others how we want it done and no one gets what they want! You say you held back in mfm's for him....but did he actually KNOW you wanted him to hold back his excitement and thoughts of you enjoying it, just in case you weren't having the fun he wanted you to have? Talk with each other from the starting point of "he (or she) would NOT do anything that they KNOW would hurt me. Therefore, even tho I'm hurt, it was not what my honey wanted to do. How do we keep it from happening again? What can I learn about myself and partner from this? We have BTDT and that is one of the things that allowed us to put it all back together. Also, maybe he didn't feel the first squirt....my honey says each time feels different to him - some O's are no squirters and others are squirt lots..I've seen shock on his face when he didn't know he was even near the edge. Beats me how that works cuz I KNOW for me when I'm near but I have to work at it to cum and he just has it "happen" without effort most the time. Please keep in mind this is just IMHO and may not be worth 2 cents.... Good luck! S __________________ Evel Knievel died of natural causes.