The Swingers Board - View Single Post - First Swap! DH forgot OUR rules! What to do??

pacpl4funn · 10-20-2005, 10:26 AM

Hello and Good Morning to all,

Hubby and I became involved in swinging about 3 years ago, because we're not on the same page, we've been taking it slow. Going at my pace, a few weeks ago we had our first swap with another couple, they are great people, the best, trouble is, I thought I was ready for this, till it happened and I became unglued. LOL

Me and the other husband we're doing our thing, 69 with him on top, and my hubby and the other wife were a few feet away doing their thing, 69 with her on top.... Everything is going fine, AND then I hear my hubby's voice, "eh eh eh, not yet, not yet", it was that "tone of his voice" that made me repostion myself to see what's going on.

See we have this rule, no direct mouth cumming and no inside cumming, as he wanted to keep this for us and I did too. So what do I see when I look over, Her face is about 5 inches away from his **** and there is this long. thick, boogery load just hanging in the air off the top of his.... And a moment later, DOWN SHE WENT !!!

It was all I could do to just not get up and walk the f**K out. So I kept my cool, I didn't want to embarass us or the other cpl, cause they knew in advance of our rules.

Her and my hubby 69ing didn't bother me, her cumming on his face didn't bother me, THAT CUM SHOT DID !!

He knew our rules going into this, I warned him to becareful, I told him straight out that, I was not sure HOW I WOULD HANDLE or REACT as this was a 1st time swap. A first time what-so-ever where another woman whould be involved.

And he blew it, literly, I've been upset, confused, down right pissed off, feeling like I want to craw under a rock and just stay there.

Now I've tried talking to him and he swears up & down that he didn't cum in her mouth, that he pulled her off his **** when he felt he was getting too close and that all I saw was "pre-cum", and when I tell him, that was not pre-cum I seen, he swears if it were MORE, that he didn't feel it !
Then he tells me, he was excited and that the newness and atmosphere and hearing & seeing me with the other guy was what made him loose control! So now he's telling me I made him cum??? with her sitting on his face??? As far as I know, you can't hear or see threw someones thigh! So that to me is bull shit. Then he switched it again to hearing me, and then again that if the other cpl didn't have the same rule as us about cumming then it should be ok for him to cum in her mouth or insides..... LOL yeah HELLO! I told him, that if he wants my mouth & insides to be strictly for him, then it applies to him, regardless of the other cpls rules or lack of them....

Throughout 2 weeks of talking, he agrees he fu@ked up, badly, he agrees that if he wants things to be reserved for him then he needs to reserve them for me too. tit for tat. He is very sorry and that I believe.

But I don't know how to trust him again, he ruined this crutial first time. How do I trust that if there ever is a next time that he won't get over excited and forget that I'm there???

His lack of care and concern for my feelings hurts worse then the cum shot I saw and I need help in understanding how this coulda happened. Do all men loose control like this and just think with thier **** head??? How do I go on from here, I don't want to walk away from swinging, nor do I want to walk away from him.

Is this something that time will heal??? Because I need him to prove himself, prove that I'm the one he wants, and that I'm the one he wants to loose control with.... But I don't know how to get past this and trust that it won't happen again. He says he'd like to do this again, in time, that he won't mess up, and that the only way for him to prove this, is to do it again, and that scared me.

I think this first time swap would have been different had we the chance to experiment with a ffm 3sum so I could feel involved and have more control and say so, like he does when we have 3sums that involve another man....
Because I think the physical distance and me not partisipating WITH him bothers me too.....

I'm sorry if this was so long, but I've been reading the posts here and everyone has so many interesting and insightful ways of expressing their opnions and ways to handle things.

thanks
pacpl4funn

10-20-2005, 10:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
pacpl4funn Active Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 29 Location: PA	First Swap! DH forgot OUR rules! What to do?? Hello and Good Morning to all, Hubby and I became involved in swinging about 3 years ago, because we're not on the same page, we've been taking it slow. Going at my pace, a few weeks ago we had our first swap with another couple, they are great people, the best, trouble is, I thought I was ready for this, till it happened and I became unglued. LOL Me and the other husband we're doing our thing, 69 with him on top, and my hubby and the other wife were a few feet away doing their thing, 69 with her on top.... Everything is going fine, AND then I hear my hubby's voice, "eh eh eh, not yet, not yet", it was that "tone of his voice" that made me repostion myself to see what's going on. See we have this rule, no direct mouth cumming and no inside cumming, as he wanted to keep this for us and I did too. So what do I see when I look over, Her face is about 5 inches away from his ** and there is this long. thick, boogery load just hanging in the air off the top of his.... And a moment later, DOWN SHE WENT !!! It was all I could do to just not get up and walk the fK out. So I kept my cool, I didn't want to embarass us or the other cpl, cause they knew in advance of our rules. Her and my hubby 69ing didn't bother me, her cumming on his face didn't bother me, THAT CUM SHOT DID !! He knew our rules going into this, I warned him to becareful, I told him straight out that, I was not sure HOW I WOULD HANDLE or REACT as this was a 1st time swap. A first time what-so-ever where another woman whould be involved. And he blew it, literly, I've been upset, confused, down right pissed off, feeling like I want to craw under a rock and just stay there. Now I've tried talking to him and he swears up & down that he didn't cum in her mouth, that he pulled her off his ** when he felt he was getting too close and that all I saw was "pre-cum", and when I tell him, that was not pre-cum I seen, he swears if it were MORE, that he didn't feel it ! Then he tells me, he was excited and that the newness and atmosphere and hearing & seeing me with the other guy was what made him loose control! So now he's telling me I made him cum??? with her sitting on his face??? As far as I know, you can't hear or see threw someones thigh! So that to me is bull shit. Then he switched it again to hearing me, and then again that if the other cpl didn't have the same rule as us about cumming then it should be ok for him to cum in her mouth or insides..... LOL yeah HELLO! I told him, that if he wants my mouth & insides to be strictly for him, then it applies to him, regardless of the other cpls rules or lack of them.... Throughout 2 weeks of talking, he agrees he fu@ked up, badly, he agrees that if he wants things to be reserved for him then he needs to reserve them for me too. tit for tat. He is very sorry and that I believe. But I don't know how to trust him again, he ruined this crutial first time. How do I trust that if there ever is a next time that he won't get over excited and forget that I'm there??? His lack of care and concern for my feelings hurts worse then the cum shot I saw and I need help in understanding how this coulda happened. Do all men loose control like this and just think with thier ** head??? How do I go on from here, I don't want to walk away from swinging, nor do I want to walk away from him. Is this something that time will heal??? Because I need him to prove himself, prove that I'm the one he wants, and that I'm the one he wants to loose control with.... But I don't know how to get past this and trust that it won't happen again. He says he'd like to do this again, in time, that he won't mess up, and that the only way for him to prove this, is to do it again, and that scared me. I think this first time swap would have been different had we the chance to experiment with a ffm 3sum so I could feel involved and have more control and say so, like he does when we have 3sums that involve another man.... Because I think the physical distance and me not partisipating WITH him bothers me too..... I'm sorry if this was so long, but I've been reading the posts here and everyone has so many interesting and insightful ways of expressing their opnions and ways to handle things. thanks pacpl4funn