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Originally Posted by REALCOLSCOUPLE Gee, sorry if I touched a sore spot of anyone. All I was saying was that if you get 'close' to couples you have sex with,feelings can happen. |
Don't worry, you haven't touched any spot yet
As for feelings, yes, of course you can have feelings with someone you swing with, just as you have feelings with close friends. That's natural, expected, and a great feeling. You develop a relationship, and with any relationship, you develop feelings for one another. That's actually a good thing
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Originally Posted by REALCOLSCOUPLE It doesn't mean love,I didn't say either of 'us' felt love but it had to be something similiar to sexual gratification,and a possible list of desires that would be to long to list! |
It's all just feelings of comfort and friendship that develop over time. Again, it's a natural component to swinging with regular friends. It really has little to do with the sexual gratification or any other desire. Just good old friendship.
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Originally Posted by REALCOLSCOUPLE Look, you are meeting other couples because you want something extra,call it what you want but if you enjoy sex with other people and you have decided to swing then thats my point,you enjoy others and you made a concious decision to have sex and it is extra-marital,so to speak. I just simply don't buy the swinging idea that it is sexual gratification only,you have that with your spouse don't you? If not then doesn't that mean that there is something missing and you are trying to find it in sex with others,even if your spouse is there? Yes you are,else why swing? |
Yes, we do want something extra that we cannot do as a couple, and that is have sexual fun with others. Sometimes, it really is just for the sex, and nothing more. Yes, my husband and I have great sex together, but we do enjoy some variety, even with sex. But other times, you develop close friendships (hmmm...recurring theme here) and it's no longer just about the sex, but the friendship you enjoy. There is really no deep issues here, and it doesn't mean anything is missing from our lives.
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Originally Posted by REALCOLSCOUPLE Not talking love here but if you have a desire to swing and you are married then you are similiar,in ways,to the 'hubby' of the couple that developed feelings for my wife! Really I didn't worry because I feel secure with her but we did break it off with them.And no I'm not finding fault here,I enjoy the excitement of another womans body and romance but I think we should ALL admit this,,,,,we love our spouse BUT, we want others.Go ahead, set me straight,tell me i'm wrong. :rollseyes |
Overall, I am quite confused at the point you are trying to make, so I cannot really "set you straight". In one sentence, you say that something must be missing in your lives if you are married and you swing. You then ask why would someone swing, but later answer your own question. It appears you may have a problem with the intimacy that forms in a Lifestyle relationship, but that is only natural. Most couples go through that same problem but after time, that does tend to resolve itself.
Carol xoxoxo