The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Is married man whose wife doesn't swing a "single male"?

MrMuse · 11-25-2002, 08:49 PM

This has been a very interesting thread to say the least! I've been able to digest the different opinions and have come up with my own, which I'd like to share.

I'm a single male (recently separated after 22 years). Before my separation July of this year, my wife and I had been active swingers for 4 years. Through the last 4 years we (at least myself...the reson for the divorce) abidied by some stringent rules. I would not swing with someone who cheats! This even went as far as if we were with a couple and the wife/or husband passed out from too much partying, it was NOT ok to grab a piece of ass! That was just our rule. Many of you have different views on this I'm sure.

As for the single male status, I agree with the fact that married/swinging separate is not "single". SINGLE = "single"!!!

If the married/single person is swinging without consent, then IT'S CHEATING! plain and sinple. And I have a big problem with that. For one, if they are deceiving their spouse on this "one" thing, what ELSE are they hiding from you???

Let me exlpain...A very close friend of mine hired a "married" gentleman to run a chain of health/fitness centers for him in Florida while he stayed with his daughter here in Michigan. He eventually found out that this "married" guy was having an affair with one of the staff in Florida. He was quickly fired, "If your wife can't trust you, neither can I!" Come to find out this guy had been embezzling money and tainting the books. My friend lost his fitness centers, was sued by his partners and the IRS and he lost almost $20 million as a result of this one man. Now you may have something to say about the owner's ability to manage employees. I know, my friend and I have already been through THAT conversation a million times! The truth is this...the swinging lifestyle is a pleasurable one. It's not for everyone, because of the extra pressures it places on the marriage/relationship. In order to overcome that additional stress, complete and honest communication must take place between partners. Trust has to be complete. Your partners have to be completely trustworthy.

This brings me back to my statement: If their spouse can't trust them...can you?

11-25-2002, 08:49 PM	#39 (permalink)
MrMuse Active Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 12 Location: Davison, Michigan Status: single male (separated)	This has been a very interesting thread to say the least! I've been able to digest the different opinions and have come up with my own, which I'd like to share. I'm a single male (recently separated after 22 years). Before my separation July of this year, my wife and I had been active swingers for 4 years. Through the last 4 years we (at least myself...the reson for the divorce) abidied by some stringent rules. I would not swing with someone who cheats! This even went as far as if we were with a couple and the wife/or husband passed out from too much partying, it was NOT ok to grab a piece of ass! That was just our rule. Many of you have different views on this I'm sure. As for the single male status, I agree with the fact that married/swinging separate is not "single". SINGLE = "single"!!! If the married/single person is swinging without consent, then IT'S CHEATING! plain and sinple. And I have a big problem with that. For one, if they are deceiving their spouse on this "one" thing, what ELSE are they hiding from you??? Let me exlpain...A very close friend of mine hired a "married" gentleman to run a chain of health/fitness centers for him in Florida while he stayed with his daughter here in Michigan. He eventually found out that this "married" guy was having an affair with one of the staff in Florida. He was quickly fired, "If your wife can't trust you, neither can I!" Come to find out this guy had been embezzling money and tainting the books. My friend lost his fitness centers, was sued by his partners and the IRS and he lost almost $20 million as a result of this one man. Now you may have something to say about the owner's ability to manage employees. I know, my friend and I have already been through THAT conversation a million times! The truth is this...the swinging lifestyle is a pleasurable one. It's not for everyone, because of the extra pressures it places on the marriage/relationship. In order to overcome that additional stress, complete and honest communication must take place between partners. Trust has to be complete. Your partners have to be completely trustworthy. This brings me back to my statement: If their spouse can't trust them...can you?