Thanks again for the replies... definitely paying attention and definitely not planning on just 'jumping right in'... in fact, if we are going to do anything, we are still several months away!
I do want to point out it is not the jealousy we are currently having issues with (of actually 'seeing the other having sex') but the ackwardness and distraction of it. I want her to have a great time (and hope to enjoy the same myself)! Just at the moment I get the sense we will enjoy the experience more without the anxiety of feeling you have to perform in conjunction with the other couple (which I imagine happens when you are more inexperienced).
We have gone to strip clubs together, gotten lap dances and we have invited another woman into our bed together... so we are not making quite as large of a leap as it might appear at first. All these experiences have been positive ones for us and brought us closer together.
Our jealousy is not a foregone conclusion, we are just trying to plan accordingly if it does rear its ugly head. I am not the only person my wife has slept with and I have never felt jealous about it, only curious about her experiences. 7 years ago my wife (girlfriend at the time) did deal with jealousy issues over women I had slept with but she has matured a lot since then (who does not have jealousy issues when they are 18 years old?) and jealousy simply does not exist in our marriage right now. It has not come up with going to the strip club and getting lap dances, it has not come up with having a threesome and it has not come up knowing both of us do like to flirt with others. But could it come up? Of course... we are both willing to admit that. We are trying to be as informed as possible about this and are very grateful to those members of this forum who have opened up about their thoughts and experiences.
Intuition897,
Are you speaking from experience? Did you and your partner go through similar emotions from seperate room sex? Did you start out that way thinking it was the best initial way to go? How strong was your relationship at the time and how open were you with each other? Sorry, I am all questions!
I really appreciate your post and again, my wife and I still have a lot of talking to do.
As of right now, we both *want* seperate room sex... I just want to go about it the right way. Perhaps we should start out with more mild swapping with a couple and same room activities to make sure we want to go all the way (as we both think we do)... I guess there is no harm in that, and it is never a mistake to go slowly.
To make my current thoughts clear -- I do not have any problem whatsoever with the thought of my wife having sex with another man (given that I have met him, trust him, know he is in a committed relationship and in this for the same reason we are), I just do not know if it will arouse me to see his hairy ass bobbing up and down above her (to put it bluntly) let alone if it could simply be an ackward distraction which lessens our positive experience.
It *could* be arousing for both of us to be in the same room... but we both *know* it would be arousing to be in seperate rooms. My initial thoughts were it would be better to start in seperate rooms and work our way into the unknown of whether we enjoy same room.... and I am suprised to learn this is the complete opposite of most others!
We will ultimately do what we feel is best for us, but I hope to read more experiences....
Like, did anyone here
start with seperate room sex and have the issues brought up by intuition897 occur? Can it start out positive if gone in with preperation?
I am going to bring all these up with my wife and we will continue to talk more about it... thanks for bringing them up!