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bellerophon · 10-14-2005, 01:50 PM

Thanks for the replies!

I'm not sure how voyeuristic we are... maybe we will get turned on by seeing the other in the moment but right now I kinda view it as more of a distraction. We want our own seperate experience and it seems like you will feel pressure to match the pace and intensity of the other couple.

My wife is loud, will my partner feel pressure to 'act' accordingly? I tend to last a while, will the other guy feel a bit inadequate if he is finished well before I am with his spouse? My wife is capable of multiple orgasms, what if the woman I am with is not? If the actual sex ends up not as enjoyable for one couple, will it spoil the mood for the others seeing it as such? I just do not want the expectations of performing for the other couple. Whether it is planned or not, I have to imagine this does set in. It seems like this would not be as much of a concern once you were into the lifestyle more and were completely at ease with the other couple.

I guess I am just suprised to find most not only prefer same room sex, but actually start out that way as well... it just seems more ackward to me thinking about it.

"Cheating with permission" -- I like that term and think that is more of what we are after.

Our initial talk involved each of us having a few "friends with benefits"... but I think that would be a mistake. Too many intangibles involved and too many chances for dishonesty. In other words, "inviting too many potential problems". This feeling has been reinforced by reading this board and other sites.

But in an environment which is safe and controlled as possible I think we would be very happy having our own 'private' moment... unfortunately it looks like we might have trouble finding similar couples to share this with

Is this viewed somewhat negatively by other swingers? That perhaps we are not as secure in our relationship if we want seperate room sex? In my mind, it shows how much we are trusting of each other and willing to give the other a full, private experience while at the same time we are going into it together and going home together.

It's definitely going to be a decision we make together but I really do appreciate everyone's input... thanks!

10-14-2005, 01:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
bellerophon Registered Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Your typical newbie!	Re: Same room, seperate rooms? Thanks for the replies! I'm not sure how voyeuristic we are... maybe we will get turned on by seeing the other in the moment but right now I kinda view it as more of a distraction. We want our own seperate experience and it seems like you will feel pressure to match the pace and intensity of the other couple. My wife is loud, will my partner feel pressure to 'act' accordingly? I tend to last a while, will the other guy feel a bit inadequate if he is finished well before I am with his spouse? My wife is capable of multiple orgasms, what if the woman I am with is not? If the actual sex ends up not as enjoyable for one couple, will it spoil the mood for the others seeing it as such? I just do not want the expectations of performing for the other couple. Whether it is planned or not, I have to imagine this does set in. It seems like this would not be as much of a concern once you were into the lifestyle more and were completely at ease with the other couple. I guess I am just suprised to find most not only prefer same room sex, but actually start out that way as well... it just seems more ackward to me thinking about it. "Cheating with permission" -- I like that term and think that is more of what we are after. Our initial talk involved each of us having a few "friends with benefits"... but I think that would be a mistake. Too many intangibles involved and too many chances for dishonesty. In other words, "inviting too many potential problems". This feeling has been reinforced by reading this board and other sites. But in an environment which is safe and controlled as possible I think we would be very happy having our own 'private' moment... unfortunately it looks like we might have trouble finding similar couples to share this with Is this viewed somewhat negatively by other swingers? That perhaps we are not as secure in our relationship if we want seperate room sex? In my mind, it shows how much we are trusting of each other and willing to give the other a full, private experience while at the same time we are going into it together and going home together. It's definitely going to be a decision we make together but I really do appreciate everyone's input... thanks!