Hi L&R, and welcome to the site!
From the looks of it you at least are both reading the posts. That can help...but if you are looking for justification for your own personal points of view between yourselves you are in for some frustration. Your previous posts indicate that you (or at least one of you) have been to swinger functions. You know about rules, etc.
About the posting of an ad: You don't have to hang yourself out there like a piece of meat. You can be VERY specific as to what you are looking for. I would also recommend that you be with a more experienced couple at the start. It is funny how fast you learn things and then can accept them as not being what you thought they were. People place sooo many roadblocks in their paths to "happiness" that they always seem angry about something and it may drive them away from the lifestyle altogether.
I recommend that you continue to talk about what you want in the lifestyle, but place it on the back burner for now. You both may have to compromise considerably and that in itself may make you not want to take part. Your brief time together is also a red flag to a lot of people, unless you both had been in the lifestyle for a while before you met (which it doesn't appear is the case).
Fem D and I have been with each other for 26 years and we still find that we aren't on the same page most of the time.
(It is getting a
lot better.
)
One other thing about this idea of seeing how many want to fuck her or additionally (if this applies) to turn people down flat out because of some stupid reason. I know it seems perfectly logical to just tell someone that you aren't a match...but word gets around and before long no one takes you too seriously. You have to really be open to most things if you want to learn about how this thing works. You will have one nite stands whether YOU like it or not. You will have to understand that people aren't always what they say they are. You have the responsibility to be as honest as you can be not just as "honest" as the people you may meet.
Male D