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Originally Posted by txduo2000 It pretty much boils down to a "whatever works for you/us" mentality. I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong way of handling any one situation. You deal with it the best you can whatever arises.
For us, we can go both ways ... we can do the one-nighter and we can do the relationship. We aren't worried about "falling in love" because in both our views, falling in love with play partners is really only possible if there is something lacking in your own relationship. And if there is something lacking in your own relationship, then swinging is not an appropriate activity. So a longer term relationship would not be out of the realm of possibilities for us, though it has never presented itself as an option. Most of the time, the people we meet are generally like us ... not really looking for an exclusive type relationship and they have different plans at any coming weekend. That doesn't constitute a rejection to us; just a similarity of attitudes and an understanding from our point of view.
Now we do like the one-nighters just because of the anonymous thrill of it and the no obligation or expectation mentality for all concerned. I think most people who go to on-premise parties, as we do, do not expect to necessarily find someone that they will be in a long-term relationship with. It's a party atmosphere and those who want to party, party; those who don't simply mingle and/or watch.
We find it difficult to search and find compatible couples anyway. It's hard enough trying to find two people who mesh, let alone four, so that's why the party atmosphere has been one that has worked better for us. |
Outstanding. Most of us understand that when you are out meeting new people you are actually building a circle of "loose" friendships and the larger the circle of friends grows...well time is finite. There's a big difference between "discard" and "shuffle" to the bottom of the deck. That's why you want a deck of "cards" anyway...so you can have "parties". And this was, no one couple becomes too attached they can see you have other friends...just be honest with them and invite them to the party next week! the one niter works well too. I didn't agree with the part about only being able to "fall in love" if there's something wrong with your relationship. There is a concept know as polyamour but it's usually out of the range of most "recreational" swingers and is usually only attempted by the Utopians.